why ask why me?

HA HA HA HA HA HA

2007-12-05T19:42:00.000-05:00

they sent us home an hour early for THIS!!!

HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

i am STILL laughing...

where i used to live, they have 8 inches, the plows are STILL not out, and don't even THINK about wasting any salt or sand yet - because they might need it in april

YIPPI FOR MEEEEEE!!!!!

2007-11-25T22:52:00.000-05:00

I PAID OFF MY SUV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now if i could only get the rest of my life under control.......

HA HA HA HA HA HA

2007-11-18T23:31:00.000-05:00

remember me writing about how i went on the road trip and had lunch w/ the ex and found closure w the relationship. Yeah, the same one who moved back @ 3 months before I moved, and he was the only one who offered help w/ my move who didn't back out so he ended up driving my moving truck..........

welllllll..............
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DING BAT finally admitted out loud that he still has feelings for me to someone!!!!

of course it is THREE YEARS and 650 miles too late!!!

I have always kind of known - i mean, when he moved away from "old crap town" he never stopped calling, e-mailing, texting, or im-ing me.... and yeah, i admit, when he does i respond. and i sometimes even get a little charge that i have that kind of hold on someone..... and he insisted on staying 4 days when we moved me in to make sure all was ok....

but it isn't enough that i would want to get back together with him.

well, via e-mail, i found out through a really good friend that he still have feelings for me, and that now that I have moved he realized what he had.

ok, so should i really be laughing, well, no.... especially since i am petrified that i will be single for the rest of my life. but the reality is that he was NOT mr. right. and he never was.

its time to help those in need again....er, still

2007-11-16T15:27:00.000-05:00

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how do i walk into these things?

2007-11-15T20:55:00.000-05:00

so, i went to find one of my kids yesterday, and found out he was skipping.... again...

i had to call home and foudn out that "auntie" had actually caught him the last time...

today i went to find him AGAIN!!! he came to home room to get his report card and skipped all but english when he also went to lunch..... ARGHHH

so, i went to see another one of his teachers to ask him to help me out tomorrow if he showed up... from there i ended up finding out a TON of info about another student.... and from THERE somehow ended up as the un-paid, 3rd c0-advisor of SGA... the other 2 are paid (they were asked by the head principal to be advisors over the summer, know the school, the kids, and have been here for a number of years) but have NO SGA experience or parlamentary procedure knowledge.... i offered to see if i had my old handbook and ended up as an advisor.... oh well, it will look good to the powers that be, and its not like i ever leave the buidling before 4 anyway!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

these should explain my week

2007-11-08T18:12:00.000-05:00

well i TRIED to be a good daughter

2007-10-27T15:03:00.000-04:00

so both of my parents have their birthday's in one calender week - mom's just passed and dad's is coming up.

all mom has talked about for gifts over the last few years is power tools. dad finally gave in and got her the table saw for mothers day. and now that i am in a little better place financially i decided i should step up to the plate and get her something.

since they won't be in town for dad's birthday we agreed that this weekend i would "come home" and it would be birthday celebration weekend for both of them and i informed mom that i was taking her to the hardware store to get her nail gun.

SHE WAS THRILLED....... that is, until she saw how expensive compressors were. personally, i don't know what the big deal is but she balked. so i said fine - what other tool do you really want but she totally shut down.

needless to say, my parents are in their 60's and don't need anything - nor do they want anything so i really have nothing to give them but me visiting......

getting back into the groove

2007-10-25T19:49:00.000-04:00

well, now that my observation trauma/drama is out of the way (for those of you who know what i am talking about, i had my "re-do" and it was a satisfactory) i an now getting my feet back under me and am slowly becoming me again.

one of the teachers even commented that he saw a smile on my face yesterday which was ironic since i had a raging migraine (no, don't get your hopes up people, he is happily married)

today was one of those days that started out where you don't want to get out of bed and you have a really bad feeling. the dog didn't poo outside because it was raining (think cold november rain type rain) and to make matters worse i just shaved him down for his last shave down before winter - we were out there for 20 min and he was shivering but i don't want to to poo inside just because it is raining out!!!

so i somehow manage to get out the door on time and get this feeling that i shouldn't take the highway to work but then i see a fender bender on the local roads in front of me so i get on the highway..... and the traffic is REALLY REALLY slow....... but it is moving.... and then i see the accident in the left lane... but we are still rolling.... and i only go another 500 feet to my exit..... and then i see that it isn't moving AT ALL!!!

THANKFULLY i bought that GPS so i go to the next exit, turn on the GPS and - TRAFFIC ISN'T MOVING THERE EITHER!!!!

I am F-bombing left and right... but i called in to the school and told them - not like i can control the traffic - i left home at 6:30 and it was already 7 and i had only gotten the equivalent of 3 miles to work - heck at this point, i may have actually gone out of my way.....

And that is when things actually started to look up..... when i got out of the car it wasn't raining and well, i don't know how i did it but i managed to actually walk into that building EXACTLY at 7:30 when i HAD to be there AND i was still able to make all the copies i need on the copy machine because there was NO ONE IN LINE TO USE IT!!!... the kids participated and only gave me flack in a teasing manner, not a rude one in 1st period... and 2nd period finished their assessment (ok, there was the kid an the cell phone incident but that actually was a good thing because by having the department chair take his phone he knows i am serious and i am done w/ his crap and even when he was being inappropriate he was doing it quietly)

then, i even had the opportunity to look good to the head principal. i HATE doing hall duty, but it needs to be done. while i was doing my rounds she came out in the hall and we ended up talking and were doing duty together for a while. i know she is my boss, but to me, it is nice to get to interact with my principal like that - she is willing to come out of her office and do the same things i have to do and she is also interested in getting to know her staff as more than people who just fill the classrooms. lastly, i then a meeting after school to learn how to use the districts assessment tracking program. the woman teaching the training session used my 1 class's data as the example and entered it this morning. i got to do it as the guinea pig in front of everyone this afternoon. so i am, for once, ahead of the game!

drivers ed

2007-10-19T14:40:00.000-04:00

OK

So, we all know that when we move, we must eventually transfer our drivers license and plates to our new place called home.

Well, what do you do when said state craps on you, not once, but TWICE!!!!

The MD MVA says I had/have 60 day's to switch my stuff over.

They ha this REALLY LONG list of acceptable pieces of paper to bring with me.

So, last month I took a bag full - I mean I actually took EXTRA stuff just in case. The 2 bitches behind the counter seemed to take pleasure telling me why only one of them counted at proof of residency for getting my drivers license. My favorite for a bill/piece of mail not counting was my renters insurance: " you have to live there 3 years for it to count." WTF?!?!!?

FINALLY they decided that if i switched lines and got my licence plate, they would count that paperwork as an acceptable piece of proof of residency and then I could get my license.

And THEN I saw red. In this wack state, you have to turn over your vehicle title to get your plates. Well, in my previous state your lien holder has it until you pay off the vehicle (granted, i only have @ 5 payments left - but the point is that it is MY title that i have been working my ass off for 4+ years to pay so I can posses the title.)

I said "excuse me, i don't think so - my lien holder will mail me the form when i pay it off." She snapped at me "THEY SEND THEM TO US EVERY DAY AND IF YOU DON"T DO IT YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW."

I looked at her and said "only if they catch me doing something illegal."

I am sorry, but I have 2 college degrees and can read. Every piece of paper I brought in was listed as acceptable for me to get my drivers license.

I finally gave in and mailed the stupid title form in. Needless to say it has been over a month and no on has notified me that is has been sent to the MVA.

SO, ATTEMPT 2 was today.

I got there @ 30 min ago to be informed: we are not taking anymore customers today. I stated I wanted to have that in writing as I don't have another week day when they are open until December and as I am a teacher I cannot just take a day off to sit around the MVA. The woman told me if i didn't leave on my own she would have me thrown out.

I said "But ma'am, I've been living here almost 60 day's and i don't want to break the law like i you yelled at me i would be doing last time when i didn't have enough forms to show proof of residency."

She was NOT amused but I was, and so were the 3 people in line behind me she was also turning away.

brushing the cobwebs off

2007-10-07T14:22:00.000-04:00

yes, i live...

and i actually socialized this weekend - i have lived here @ 10 weeks and twice had to pass on meeting esmeralda, but i finally met her, g-man, and maven this weekend at what i will be calling "sushi fest 2007"

it was so nice to be around ADULTS who i don't work with. they, and their friends, are the most down to earth, real people i have met in YEARS!

i know i have been absent from the blog lately but work has been CRAZY busy.

1st, i am still exceedingly thrilled that i moved here
2nd, i really do love my new job
3rd, the people (95% of them at least) are really really nice people
4th, i like almost all of my students (even my "problem" students)

HOWEVER

they have some specifics they want here and that they look for when doing evaluations - and in the 2 weeks of training, i wasn't trained on any of it... so i have to do a 5th observation..... at least i didn't get an unsatisfactory - but it still is really tough, tiring, and time consuming

GET THIS!!!

2007-09-16T14:30:00.000-04:00

so, @ 3 weeks ago my friend calls and it's my MIA friend "down hill girl" (we met skiing years ago"

anyhow - right before i moved, i had a cell phone issue (remember when i threw my phone?) and i lost her number

so out of the blue DHG calls me and she wants to go to lunch... i had to tell her the "bad news" that i moved.... and where...... she was all bummed because SHE TOO was moving and wanted to see me before she moved.... then she asked how far it was from "blah blah blah"

i busted up laughing - SHE IS LIVING 45 minutes away from here!!!!

turns out she needs to take a leave of absence from her floor at the cleveland clinic before she burns out and is doing a 3 month traveling nursing gig and they sent her to this podunk hospital on the other side of the city from me.... they will pay for her furnished apt, utilities, and everything except for car gas and food..... she had to be here friday morning to get her state nursing licence in person and she can't move in to her new place till monday so she stayed with me thursday and friday night (they finally got her a hotel room for last night and tonight).

so i am not alone anymore!!!

this girl is the only girl who can laugh at her own bad luck (she lost her ticket on the turnpike and had to pay the entire toll - $14.75) and her GPS got her lost so she didn't get to my place till 1 am!

i am SO EXCITED!

signs

2007-09-09T08:07:00.000-04:00

have you even been driving and seen someone else and thought "they are an accident waiting to happen?"

yesterday i had that feeling twice w/in 10 minutes, both before 8 am - AND I WAS RIGHT!

the 1st - an 80's model, jacked up pick up truck - i literally saw it's front passengers tire fall off, bounce across the road and into the grass as the truck leaned forward so the back tire was in the air and the axle cut into the road shooting sparks everywhere...........

the 2nd - i got boxed in behind a 2nd truck w/ its tailgate down full of folding tables - sure enough, he had to slam on his breaks and out came the tables right in front of me......

thankfully i saw that one coming and, even though i had been unable to switch lanes i had been @ 5 car lengths back so i didn't get hit

but still.........

was yours as good as mine?

2007-09-04T23:41:00.000-04:00

yeah, i bet that title got you all excited, hot & bothered....

well HA HA ----

they say labor day & the weekend that comes w/ it is supposed to be about relaxation for the "common" laboring man - and these days woman....

traditionally, it signaled the end of summer, and the beginning of school.... well, school started the week before for me, but i don't really mind that....

but my weekend was anything but lazy, and i didn't do anything i wanted to do or planned to do.............

and i did a hell of a lot of WORK:

see, my dog is all of 26 pounds & most of it is fluff

it took @ 100 hours to be sure i killed all the fleas

he never had them in our old town

my first official negative in this new city......

i hope your labor day weekend was better than mine

teaching

2007-09-01T14:26:00.000-04:00

once week down, 39 to go

hope you all have a great 3 day weekend

2 more good days

2007-08-29T17:15:00.000-04:00

yesterday my phone rang right as school ended.... it was big brother... his wife had gone out of town and he was single fathering it and had to go shopping - did i want to go along?.... it was supposed to be a 90 mile drive each way - not that big of a deal when you are talking highways... yeah - it turned into a 200 mile drive each way.... at least he was driving.....however, his 18 month old daughter was NOT happy with him.... she did take to me though....

it was not the first time i had met "peanut" but it was the 1st time i had spent a lot of time with her..... she is really smart, but doesn't like to verbalize - so she uses sign language - not baby signs w/ pointing, but real ASL sign (big brothers wife is a reading specialist).... peanut also doesn't like wet diapers - she decided that i was a good person and let me take her to the bathroom so she could pee on the toilet --- YES, an 18 month old who self-toilet-trained.....

then, today at work.... my special ed students made some great observations - 1) i am not a pushover... 2) i have an evil glare (or at the one kid put it "a look that could scare babies")... & 3) i am tough but fair.... they are funny and i like them (so far - even the kid who walked out of class but he DID come back - he has a lot of emotional baggage..... it WAS only day 2 w/ this group)

my regular ed kids are another story - most of them are good so far - but 3 of them think the rules don't apply to them... yeah, well - wait till i call home and they get the progress notes w/ 0's all over them

back in the saddle again..... sort of

2007-08-27T15:12:00.000-04:00

well, after 2 weeks of being sick AND working everyday, i THINK i am doing ok......

i managed to make it through 10 days of orientation, and today was the 1st day that i got to meet the cheeky buggers.....

today was the EASIEST of the 10 days i think....well, at least the least annoying or stressful - and the shortest....

so far, the people i work with have been really nice & helpful.... i am sure there are some jerks and assholes, but fortunately i haven't had to deal w/ them yet

hopefully tomorrow will run smoothly too....

ehhhhh

2007-08-11T08:56:00.000-04:00

i have been here 15 days (ok, counting today that is).....

today is the 1st day the a/c has been turned off - it was actually more than 10 degrees COOLER outside IN THE SUN than inside on my handy-dandy inside/outside thermometer when i woke up today..... so i threw open all the windows

YIPPI!!!

unfortunately, i think i might have strep

tourist time

2007-08-09T11:00:00.000-04:00

although the camera has not come out at home yet, i did finally play tourist a bit yesterday...

a friend from home was in the same state, so she came to visit... she was supposed to stay thru tomorrow but FOUR people she knew died this past week so she left this morning....

we were going to go to the aquarium - she said she would pay for the tickets for that since i was paying for other things so i didn't look it up online... if i had, i would have ordered them online... wish i had - when we got there the ticket line was over 2 hours long and she didn't want to wait (mind you, she said she wanted to visit me so she could go to the aquarium 2 months ago)... well, we passed on the aquarium, but we did go on the water taxi for a few hours, stopping in varius neighborhoods to walk around and take pictures.....

security check # 1, big brother style

2007-08-05T19:20:00.001-04:00

as i have mentioned, i have a propensity for staying friends w/ most of my my ex's.... sort of......... it usually goes something like this: i'll be rolling along, living my life, and then the phone will ring, my e-mail box will fill up, im's start popping up on my screen..... well, one ex is the one who helped me move here... and the other one is the one who i visited when i went on vacation/spring break to DC, and then actually stayed with while job hunting.... it definitely helps that i have finally met his wife (and that is probably helped by the fact that they have a baby who is absolutely adorable)

it's IS a bit odd to outsiders though, when they ask how i know this ex, who i believe i will, from now on, call "BB" for big brother.... see, we actually only dated @ 3 months and then he immediately dated the woman who 6 months later he became engaged to and then 6 months later was married to....but we never stopped being friends, and even though "wife" and i only met 6 months ago, we really do get along... we actually get along so well that she didn't have a problem w/ me heading over to spend the afternoon w/ "BB" while she went off shopping w/ "baby"

why now, would "BB" call me and say come hang out? -ahh, because he THINKS it is his job to protect me... 1) he forgets he is YOUNGER THAN ME... 2) he is a little bit of a chauvinist (one reason we never would have worked long term) and 3) he thinks that i live in one of the most dangerous cities in the world and that since i live alone i need a gun and thus it is his job to take me to the shooting range to practice and then help me find the right gun for me (he is also planning on doing a total safety check of my apt and is probably running checks on my neighbors.... (all i'm gonna say is that he works in the pentagon)

now, understand - i do not have a problem with guns, and actually, the first (and only other) time he took me shooting i found it to be quite exhilarating.... but i am never going to be a card carrying member of the NRA either....

so off to the shooting range we went.... should i own my own gun, well - i don't know about that... HOWEVER, since most gun fights happen w/in 10 feel or less distance... i am REALLY REALLY ACCURATE in the kill zone - 7's, 8's, & 9's... for me a missed shot tended to be around the head of the groin (unfortunately, BB would then shoot at the same target he had me use and would decimate the targets so i didn't bring any home to take a picture of).... unfortunately i flinch like hell from the concussion, and not just when i am shooting - but from ALMOST EVERY SHOT in the range, well that and i mean, i understand why the glock has a 2 part trigger, but i really had trouble pulling it at times - my arm and hand is strong enough to shoot @ 200 rounds, and my arm, hand and finger aren't tired or sore today - but i don't think a glock is for me

on the humorous, yet potentially painful side, evidently the spring that shoots out the spent casings needs to be replaced - the spent rounds kept hitting me square in the middle of my forehead... fortunately i have a hard head and it actually didn't hurt - just kept surprising me (i could actually see them flying out of the gun at my face) - the painful ones were the flaming 5 that flew down my shirt into my bra!

acclimatin

2007-08-03T08:06:00.000-04:00

so, yesterday i was supposed to go visit some friends who are also moving... but that was a bust so that means most of the day was a waste...

i did wake up w/o an alarm SUPER DUPER early so i got in the car at @ 6:45 (ok, i was still in my pajamas) and drove to my new school on the back roads, with out a map AND DID NOT GET LOST. YEAH FOR ME..... it only took @ 15 minutes, and that was catching red lights and going the speed limit so that means i should be able to leave for work at that time every day and get to work ON TIME!!! (teachers have to be on duty at 7:30 and, last i heard, i have 1st period prep so i really have no reason to get to work super early except to find a parking place...)

i spend the rest of the morning changing addresses online, working on the living room, and dumping more stuff upstairs in the "correct room" and then right as i was getting ready to visit friends (they are moving to philly from same BFE town that i moved from, but their house only closes today... hubby has been in philly in navy housing for 2 weeks, they have been living w/ her parents) in the annapolis area she calls - emergency dr's visit.... 3 hours later i still haven't heard back - oh well..... she's the one who is gonna have 3 upset boys (sure enough, when she finally called w/ the official cancel call i could hear the youngest in a full fledged temper tantrum)

so, for now, my kitchen looks like a kitchen - except my dishes are still in a box on the dining room table... my dining room is still filled w/ boxes as i need another shelving unit ( i think i have to go to pier one ~ any would fit, but the top left would ROCK if my TV fits) in my living room... except for the need of another shelving unit, the living room is currently done... the bathroom SO NEEDS more storage but otherwise is good... the bedroom is ok, but has kind of become a dumping ground as the office IS A MESS!!!

so, today, i have to drop off a form at work so i can get internet access before the next decade and then i am going to go shopping... unfortunately - i don't enjoy shopping like most women do, so wish me luck....

and yeah, yeah - i WILL get pics posted eventually..... if i can ever find my camera

EVENING UPDATE

in some ways i am quite pleased w/ myself.. in other ways i am pissed off......

i took my dog for a walk to the cove of the creek at the edge of my property... as far as i know, he has never experienced water in this form, or sand - he was scared shitless - i did NOT FORCE HIM... we walked most of the way, and then i slowed down and let him walk at his own pace (got to love the stretch leash) until he got @ 2 feet away..... i then just sat down... he then started to inch closer and closer... he then put on paw on the sand and ran away... i immediately got up and ran w/ him... he was shaking like a leaf - i told him he was a good boy and gave him a treat.... i will obviously have to keep working on this.... mind you - this is the same dog that doesn't blink at fireworks and loves to go on car rides... if i could get my hands on the SOB who abused him before i got him............

i then made it to work to turn in my form and met again w/ the asst principal who even remembered how to pronounce my last name... the head principal was there so i got to meet her, her asst., the secretary, and the librarian too... so that was good..... they all had bits of helpful info for me...

i then made it back to where i live and past it to the neighborhood wal-mart w/o looking at the map w/o getting lost - unfortunately its a ghetto-mart......

i then found the mall w/ both IKEA and Pier1... yeah, uh... so not what i was hoping for... i ended up getting a cabinet at IKEA because i NEED IT - but the experiences as SO NOT what IKEA is supposed to be... it was all wonderful upstairs as i was measuring items and writing things down.... and then i got downstairs and found a few small items i needed and then i went to find the furniture pieces - AND NOTHING WAS WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.... i ended up in a showdown w/ a manager..... finally i won.... but the mood was ruined - then to add insult to injury, i walked outside into a MAJOR ASS THUNDER AND LIGHTNING STORE CENTERED OVER THE MALL COMPLEX I WAS AT WITH FLOODING IN THE PARKING LOT I HAD TO RUN THRU TO GET TO MY SUV (fortunately a grandmother offered to watch my cart while i got my car)... i am still a bit salty and don't want to put it together but i have to because otherwise i'll end up hurting myself on the pieces (it weighs 70#'s - i could get the box in & out of the car but i had to take it out of the box to get it up the stairs)

and pier1 was a complete and utter bust - the shelves i wanted are TINY - if they drop a TON in price, i might buy them - but not at $250.... - i didn't pay that much for my bed from them - and it is cast iron!!!!

moving in...

2007-07-28T20:47:00.000-04:00

YIPPI - i am moved in!!... sort of

i have a couple suv loads at my parents house, and my dog is there too...

and i am still unpacking boxes...

that being said - my bed is set up, and my clothing is unpacked... my computer is set up with BOTH printers (ok, the one won't actually PRINT right now.....), i have cable, and i have internet AND i got both the vcr AND dvd set up in the office too (i do admit that it is a bit of a cord nightmare thought

i still have to unpack a TON of books... i have more books than ANYTHING - side effect of being a teacher i guess... the scary thing is that i got rid of a TON of teacher stuff too.......

hope all is well w/ ya'll and can't wait to catch up

moving on.....

2007-07-22T21:37:00.001-04:00

this is it - the BIG move... i officially get the truck at the end of the week and will be moving over 6 hours and diagonally a state away

i am almost done packing, donating, and pitching stuff....

i guess it's time to turn in my cable box & dsl box.... ugh - being w/o the computer is gonna be painful

MOVING!!!!

2007-07-15T00:19:00.000-04:00

it is official!!

the contract is signed & i have a place to live

good news: i am actually getting more in stipends than i thought

bad news: i don't get it all at once

good news: friend is helping me move

bad news: i may only have one friend able to help me move as we are doing this in the middle of the week as it was the only way i could rent the truck for the one-way rental

good news: the new school is on block schedule and i have a prep period each day

the i am not sure news yet: i am not actually teaching a special ed class - i am still considered a special ed teacher as i will do 1:1 push-in/pull-out for half of my classes.... i have not done it before but it really is what learning support is about, and i am (for most students) a strong proponent for it.... HOWEVER, the other 1/2 of my teaching schedule is what i am not sure about yet - i am teaching regular ed classes (i AM certified to do this, i just never have)

good news: my new "home" is a cottage style townhouse; it is on the water; right on the property is a doctor, a sub shop, a flower shop (me loves me the fresh cut flowers) and a beauty shop.) there is also a post office right up the road, a train stop w/in a mile, and work only @ 20 min or so away - and there is TONS of parking... and because it is so old, the walls are brick and think and virtually sound proof

bad news: the only thing it doesn't have that i wanted is laundry in it, nor does it have hook-ups (it IS almost a 100 year old property)... however, the large and clean laundry room is and right across the lane from my front door (it is also attached to the leasing office so they KEEP it clean because prospective renters see it every day)

good news: i move in less than 2 weeks

bad news: i am still struggling w/ packing

job hunt 8

2007-07-06T22:44:00.000-04:00

so - this is it

i am going to sign my contract with major metropolitan school district and find a place to live too

PLEASE LET ME FIND A PLACE THAT ISN'T WHITE TRASH HELL!!! (ok, let it not be the `hood either)

i spent an hour today going toe to toe with the manager of my current building - someone in my building stole a fedex AND a usps package notice from me - can you say FEDERAL OFFENSE - all because they think i am the one who has been calling the cops on her (ok, i did call once, but not on her persay, just on the underage & rampant drug & alcohol party that had spilled over into the halls - i didn't know that it was from HER apt: i am a teacher and i don't need to get busted... now, normally i doin't care but the pot smoke was coming into my apt from the hallway under my door from DOWN STAIRS and since i am gonna have to take a drug test for my new job............. - but i am NOT the only one to call, nor am i the 1st or the last to call - oh, and did i mention that she is also a mother of 2 w/ 2 different babies daddies under the age of 2 and she is going to be a NURSE... sorry but i do NOT want her to be poking me w/ a needle)

everyday heros

2007-07-01T12:00:00.000-04:00

i couldn't sleep last night....

i don't know why...

so i found myself reading through the pile of magazines that had grown to astronomical proportions in my living room... the bonus of this is that now i have more packing material that i won't stop to read as i tear it apart to crumple up while packing.....

at some point i actually came across the june issue of glamor - no, i do not subscribe to this magazine... i bought it while on my job interview hunt so i could have something to read while eating at my new favorite inexpensive eatery - its not not quite fast food, its not quite take out, its not quite a restaurant - its an experience unto itself: chipotle.

so, anyway... i have been feeling dissatisfied lately because i don't do well when i don't have a route... yes, i have been going to the gym almost every day for @ 2 hours (cardio, lift with super trainer, then swim)... but that isn't enough....

and as much as i love loosing myself in your worlds for a couple hours a day - that isn't enough either....

i have always enjoyed and felt good about myself by volunteering.... however, i have actually found it hard to do so in this town - i have actually been turned away from some organizations for reasons such as: we only take groups, we only have church affiliates, we only have placements for teens/parolees/senior citizens, we are full up but will put you on our waiting list (and 3 years later i have not been called), we only do volunteer stuff on thursday's from 1-3, we don't use women... and the list goes on...

i mean - SERIOUSLY!!!

so then there was the day a few weeks ago, when i called the library about bringing in a large box of books - ok, granted, i wanted to find out about the procedure for getting a receipt so i could use it at tax time..... but these were all books in good condition... most were books that had been on the New York Times best seller list at some point in the last 10 years... OK, so instead of telling me what to do and when it would be a good time to do it - the librarian (remember - THIS IS HER JOB, something she is paid to do) WAS A COMPLETE AND UTTER BITCH!!!...

so, instead of donating 20 or so books (i am not quite sure of the exact number) to the library, i e-mailed a co-blogger who i know loves to read and asked her if she would like them and did a little "pay it forward"...... and i mailed them to her instead... ok, so it was a little bit expensive... but you know what - IT FELT REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD!!!!! it felt a heck of a lot better than it would have felt giving them to that snooty library bitch.....

so anyway, back to the glamor magazine....on page 195 (for those of you who still read magazines), i came across an article about heroic deeds that you can do by just going online - and other simple things..... and it reminded me of when i had put up a link previously where all you had to do was click on a link and products would be given to women's shelters... so i went back into my archives.... the site had to shut down for now because they are so back logged - but i have set up a new section on the side of my blog, and i am calling it Help Save the World - Once Click At A Time:

Feed the Hungry

corporate sponsors will donate a cup of food to people in need around the world

Donate Dresses

donate gently worn cocktail, bridesmaid, & prom dresses to a local program so girls can have prom dresses

Donate to Women's Shelters

This is the link I posted before.... or Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 to find a local shelter where you can drop off staples - items such as clothing, suit cases & bags, toiletries.... also items for children such as stuffed animals, backpacks, and school supplies are often forgotten abut when people donate.

Phone4Charity.org

Donate your old &/or outdated cell phone - they are sold to refurbishing plants & 80% of the money is sent o more than 500 charities - including the American Red Cross & the AIDS Healthcare Foundation - more than $1 million has been given out (or do what i have done and donate your phone to a woman's shelter)

Do Something Nice

Every Monday this site posts ways to help too.

now, i don't pretend that i am always a do gooder - but i do try to do my share - especially when it has to do w/ cancer, autism, or all i have to do is click on a button.... as i find more of these "easy to help" ideas, i am going to add them.... its the least i can do

quiz day ~ thanks kwizgiver

2007-06-30T13:21:00.000-04:00

so i was brain dead today - what is really scarey is that, i agree w/ most of these

You Are Not Prissy

You're the furthest thing from a princess - and you probably stay far away from any princess types you know.

You have an easygoing approach to living. It doesn't take a lot to make you happy.

And when life requires it, you're ready to get your hand a little dirty.

There's no problem you're too prissy to tackle!

How Prissy Are You?

$5925.00

Mingle² - Online Dating

The PJ's You Are Most Like: No PJ's

You're a bit of a hedonist - opting for comfort over everything else

You have an understated, easy sexiness that men love

You'll risk that for the feeling of sheets against your bare skin!

What Kind of PJ's Girl Are You?

You Are Catwoman

"Life's a bitch. Now so am I."

What Superheroine Are You?

You Are A Chocolate Ice Cream Girl

Dramatic. Powerful. Flirty.

What Flavor Ice Cream Girl Are You?

super trainer

2007-06-28T13:57:00.000-04:00

so, those of you who have been following my saga in the gym know i have a trainer whom i call "super trainer", or ST

for those of you out of the loop, this is because ST is 40 w/ the body of a 30 yr old (and i say that because i am 30 - but i am mistaken for early 20's a lot)

not only that, but she has 2 daughters - 18 & 16 - and she doesn't look like she ever had a kid... she practices what she preaches - she eats well, she continually increases her training knowledge, and she listens to me as her client - but she doesn't treat me like just a client - plus she has always extended my sessions longer than my paid for time :) (how can you complain about THAT - ok, except when it hurts)

originally, i only would work with ST every 3-4 weeks, when i was bored and needed a routine boost... but then i got sick and the deal was that i could return to the gym but only under supervision - so i called ST and so i booked tons of sessions with her - and yeah - it hurts the wallet...

since last summer when i started working out i have lost @ 60 pounds.... the last few months the scale hasn't moved - but i still find i need to buy new clothing as the stuff i own (and the replacement stuff too) is too big & keeps falling off.... YES - i know fat takes up less space than muscle - but there is still a bit to go....

but back to ST.... tomorrow is about her - for those of you who paid attention when i wrote about her before, you know she has cancer - breast cancer - CANCER DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE, no matter how much you take care of yourself! ..... and tomorrow is her mastectomy... so for those of you who pray, please throw one out for ST.....

thanks

happy blogaversary to me

2007-06-26T13:36:00.000-04:00

143 posts.... an it's a year later....

lets see... i am still single... i am still living in butt fuck no where (please let them call me about the contract this week)... and i am still trying to lose the same weight....

aah, nice to know some things in life are consistent

oh - wait - in this case........

anyway... i want to say thanks to all my blog friends out there... because most of you are the reason i am still sane

Rate your blog

2007-06-25T16:10:00.000-04:00

Since we are still waiting for metropolitan school district to get back to us with bated breath... i have succumbed to going to the gym daily and stealling blog fodder - this time from dirk (thanks).... I earned this rating for the following:

ass (8x) crap (7x) bitch (2x) crack (1x)

seriously - just because i was being honest when i called my current place of emplyment crap ass high school.......

just imagine what would have happned if i talked about the crack whores....

job hunt 7

2007-06-20T13:31:00.000-04:00

so.......

crap ass school district's policy is "no references - ESPECIALLY NOTHING IN WRITING"

major metropolitan school distrct is holding their line and won't let me sign my contract until their official reference forms are filled out - one of which must be done by my CURRENT prinicipal

so here i am stuck in the middle....

so i printed out the e-mail that MMSD sent me on SATURDAY (ok, seriously, you couldn't send it on friday when i could do something about it or just WAIT till monday - NO - you sent it on the weekend so i could stew/freak about it)

so i went back to crap ass school district and showed them the e-mail and the form... and they said "well you know the policy" and i replied well they won't give me a contract until these are filled out and i won't resign until they give me a contract.... also, may i see the actual policy....... to which i was told: "take the forms to the references and tell them to send them back to PSYCHO BITCH PERSONELL DIRECTOR FOR VETTING and then we will mail them out."

Reference 1 did the form in front of me and had me take it back to personell myself - gave me a kick ass reference (inclduing checking "hire w/ enthusiasm"

Reference 2 / Principal is out of town for the rest of the month so i had to go to the head prinicipal of the building....he didn't know i was job hunting like his assistant principal did but wasn't put out about it because he knew i was out of his building since last january when i requested to go to an elementary and it was approved.... i told him it was going to move me closer to family and that my dad had been having some health issues (which is all true.... i didn't tell him WHICH family... and my dads' health issues he has had FOR YEARS and the dr thought there was a problem but it turns out there isn't.... AND FOR ALL YOU KARMA FREAKS - MY DAD TOLD ME TO USE HIM AS MY EXCUSE WHEN TALKING TO THE ADMINISTRATOR)......but anyway, i digress... i don't know how he evaluated me because he wanted to actually hear from personell himeself that he could do the form....

Reference 3 did the form by having me sit in the hall and then we walked it back to personell together... i was able to that he scored me in the score box all in the top 2 boxes except for 1 box and that was in the middle (which is still a positive)... none were negative scores... i just don't know what he wrote.....

so hopefully next week i will get a call about signing....

Robot to be master of ceremony

2007-06-17T23:47:00.000-04:00

Seriously? Seriously...

she either is on crack to let this happen or she doesn't know yet...

or maybe she being sold into this union...

happy fathers day

2007-06-17T11:48:00.000-04:00

to all the dad's out there:

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!

(even if all you got was another stupid tie)

Classic Dame Quiz

2007-06-14T00:31:00.000-04:00

i'm just a lil quiz theif - from just saying

Your Score: Carole Lombard

You scored 21% grit, 14% wit, 42% flair, and 33% class!

You're a little bit of a fruitcake, but you always act out in style. You have a good sense of humor, are game for almost anything, but you like to have nice things about you and are attracted to the high life. You're stylish and modern, but you've got a few rough edges that keep you from attaining true sophistication. Your leading men include William Powell, Fredric March, and Clark Gable. Watch out for small planes.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

job hunt 6

2007-06-11T16:45:00.000-04:00

major metropolitan area school offered me a job!!!!

ok, so TECHNICALLY, they TENTATIVELY offered me a job, pending my references & FBI clearance checks

the waiting is KILLING ME!!!

the down side - i will still be teaching high school kids - actually i will be teaching exactly what i am teaching now.... so in some ways that is good because i know i am good at what i do

but EVERYTHING ELSE will make it worth it.... housing in the area is actually affordable - my raise will make it even nicer (can you say laundry IN my own place - no more hoarding quarters!!!! nor fighting for a machine or doing laundry at 7 am on a sunday!!!)

plus it is a real city with real city theaters, museums, mass transit (read:trains, and metro/subway equivalent, real airport - not a dinky tin can hub that sends you west to go east or south to go north)

and - uh... the ummmmm.. online dating um sites... well, lets just say... as soon as i changed my zip code location in my profile - i can't keep up with the # of matches being sent my way

and my family has already said they will come and visit me... some have already check the major league sporting schedules to see if they can get tickets and vacations to match up!

Job Hunting 5

2007-06-08T21:07:00.000-04:00

OMG - i have SO MUCH to say.....

1st - i think i REALLY AM GOING TO MOVE!!!

2nd - last week i went to a teacher job fair and was offered, not 1, not 2, but 3 jobs - ON THE SPOT!!!! (the 4th interview couldn't because they already had offered the job to someone else and were waiting to find out if it was accepted or not.)

3rd - i was supposed to go up in a big metal bird in the sky today to another job fair - but that district FUCKED UP BIG TIME!!!! fortunately i found out BEFORE i got on the plane... so i cancelled those plans and that leads us to.....

4th - i turned my keys in today from crap ass high school this morning.... crap ass district has "supposedly"given me my bid request to work in an elementary school next fall - but i haven't received my conformation letter yet - and i won't for another 3 or so weeks.... but it HAS been confirmed that i am out of crap ass high school......

5th - after said keys were turned in i drove a very long time to very nice hotel (i will post pictures cause you know i am weird like that when i get home) and tomorrow morning i will be attending a job fair in a major metropolitan area along the eastern seaboard

EVERYONE KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED PLEASE!!!!

~~~ now, i KNOW some of you are asking/saying "WTF is she doing at ANOTHER job fair if she was offered 3 jobs last weekend..... the main reason i want out of crap ass high is that it is in the arm pit of america - there is no jewish community (and while this isn't a be all end all - it has negatively effected my dating life as mentioned in previous posts), there is no cultural life, if i NEED to get to my family - or they me - in case of emergency it is virtually impossible (and yes, as much as i bitch about them i still love them and want them in my life)

the offers came from a great district that would give me my dream classroom and a pay raise... for me to be able to afford my housing i would have to commute an hour - EACH WAY.... the closest temple is an hour away - the opposite direction from the affordable housing..... same w/ the cultural life.... and there is the same problem w/ the family issue....

THIS district, well, i might not get my dream classroom - but my LIFE will have, well more of a life. My dad works 90 due north via a TRUE interstate. There are multiple temples for me to choose from. My sorority has an active alumna group in the area, as does my university. The district offers tuition reimbursement so I could start taking classes again (which i have wanted to do for a while but i just cant afford to do since crap ass district doesn't reimburse).

ALSO - all of my family lives w/in 3 hours of this city - and if they don't want to drive they can get on Amtrak to get here - so no more lame excuse to not visit!

ummmm... thanks dirk???

2007-05-27T09:18:00.004-04:00

well, i know it's been broken twice..... maybe 3 times........ and i have always belived that there is only one true love, my bashert, out there for me.......

Your Birthdate: February 13

You don't love lightly. For you, love is always a serious undertaking.However, you are able to love many types of people. You can bring out the best in almost anyone.Love surprises you often. You never know when or where you'll find it next.
Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1
Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5
You are most compatible with people born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, and 31st of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

fortunte cookie

2007-05-27T09:11:00.000-04:00

there are many unexpected & thrilling surprises in store for you!

let's all hope so....

job hunting 4

2007-05-24T20:27:00.001-04:00

so - you know how i made the comment the other day about my mother being supportive

well, THAT IS GONE TOO

she was so negative and hurtful yesterday, i reverted to throwing my phone again

unfortunately, since i no longer have a land line, it was my CELL PHONE

yeah, um.... - throwing cell phones is a very very very very very very bad move

fortunately, i still have my old phones, so i just reactivated one of them... and i get my upgrade in a couple months anyway... but STILL - i had JUST purchased new ring tones, and my phone didn't have a sim card, so i can't move any of my pics, ringers, or numbers.....

*sigh*

and then my dad sent me an e-mail...

i KNOW he is trying to be supportive - i mean, he is loaning me money to GO to these job fairs... but he is trying to talk me out of going to one of them because of the area it is in because it wouldn't be a good area for me to have a social life...

um - dad? news flash - i don't have one now

job hunting 3

2007-05-20T21:42:00.001-04:00

well, in addition to the multitude of comments on here, you should see the explosion of "advice" in my e-mail in-box...

some of you "lurkers" who are too pathetic to come out into the open that you had to send me anonymous e-mail "advice" seem to

1) not get that my blog is a place that i VENT and voice my inner voice that i don't voice to my family and friends

and 2) IF I WANTED CRITICISM I COULD JUST CALL MY MOTHER

actually - SHE IS BEING SUPPORTIVE

ON THAT NOTE:

here are some details i have learned, both from when i originally interviewed & from others i know in the field of special education job hunting...

special ed hiring isn't the same as regular ed hiring..

most districts leave SPED placements to the SPED department to do interviews, hiring, and placements...

the number one reason they do this is because special education laws are so complex and changing that most principals don't WANT to know what they are. They almost never know the correct questions to ask a sped hire, let alone do they know what answer to to look for...the pedagogy is SO DIFFERENT that they CANNOT ask the same questions so - they don't know where to start, so they leave it to the "experts"

so typically - especially in urban districts - principals work/deal with the sped teachers who are hired by the SPED supervisors & placed in their schools, do their annual or semi-annual observations, and sign sped paperwork as needed - and of course they are there to deal with discipline issues

smaller schools and rural schools... that is a different story... in smaller districts, the principals are more involved w/ the sped paperwork process and have a little more of a clue about what is going on in those classrooms..

but since i am getting plenty of private e-mails with loads of advice of how to live my life and make decisions on how to job hunt:

before i even sent the application in, i had already done the following:

1) checked out all 3 papers online in the area of the school district and key word researched the district to see how all 3 of them presented them in the news... and yes, there were both positive & negative issues presented... but you have that in every district..

2) i checked out the district website - in depth... i checked out their salary scale - once they have conformation that i have 2 years experience i would get 3rd year experience w/ masters level pay - just as if i stay here.... & their benefits package is comparable (my district doesn't care how long you have taught - if it is your 1st year in the district, you get 1st year pay unless you buy in)... it IS a slightly lower pay scale than what i get now - however, i would NOT have to pay outrageous heating bills all winter long (does anyone remember that 10 foot blizzard?)- hell, it hit freezing LAST NIGHT

3) I checked out how the district is doing in regards to NCLB/AYP, on their site, through the news paper, AND through the state's ed page - it has made great strides and is moving in a positive direction -- it is investing TONS of $$ into teacher training... AND (esp to ME) they are providing an incentive program to all teachers working towards NTE certification as part of their NCLB/AYP initiative

4) The district has a hell of a lot more community involvement than the community i am in now...

5) I have been applying to schools since February.... granted i didn't mention anything... but this is the first bite - the last time I job hunted, I didn't get asked for a full time position until 2 DAYS before school started - and i am STILL STUCK HERE...

6) The area has a VERY LARGE Jewish poplulation as opposed to where i am (ie - basically just me), a very large & active alumnae group from my undergraduate university and i have send them an e-mail requesting feed back from members, my sorority & another intertational social action organization i am involved in through my home town and i have also requested info from them TOO - so right there are FIVE ways for me to become socially integrated into the community - as opposed to the area i am currently in; an area that is fine w/ interacial relationships but NOT interreligious

7) it is also a fairly decent sized metropolitan area - hell it has a real airport in it (ok, so where i now has a rinky-dink one too)

8) I always have said, the only thing i would give my mountains & skiing up for was the ocean - this could be it...

8) and i could be offered the job, but say no thank you

i NEED a change... it doesn't mean i am not going to KEEP on applying to other places... hell, they could say thank you for coming but we don't think you will be a good fit...

job hunting 2

2007-05-19T17:49:00.000-04:00

i have an interview
its out of state
i have my e-ticket

now i just have to wait for interview day

negative 1) interview day is the day after my last day of work so i can't scout the area out in person

negative 2) if they offer me a contract i have to take it then (if i don't i may never get out of this town)

negative 3) what if they DON'T offer me a contract

negative 4) i have to wait for interivew day

job hunting

2007-05-17T23:11:00.001-04:00

JOB HUNTING SUCKS ASS

every frigging district wants 3 letters of recommendation sent - FROM MY CURRENT SUPERVISOR(s).

my district DOES NOT ALLOW administrators to write letters of recommendation!

(i do understand where the current school is comming from - you don't want to help your good teachers leave..... but a few of the administrators are willing to verbally talk me up [because they think i am considering leaving for family reasons] - they just can't put it on paper.)

but here is the bigger problem - a ton of the more progressive districts (read: the good ones that i would want to be hired buy) want you to apply using their friendly named "QUICKAP" or "QUICKFILL" web applications. fine. they are really simple to fill out. they have easy to follow directions. you can attach your letter of intent & resume w/ the click of a button.

UNFORTUNTALY you still need to answer 87 fucking questions, WRITE 3 ESSAYS (on topics of their choice that are totally different from every other one you have written so far - which i have at least been smart enough to save but haven't been able to reuse yet) - and their QUICKAPP's REQURE you to fill out EVERY BLOCK of the letter of recomondation area - and if you don't put in a name - it knows; an e-mail - it knows; a phone number- you guessed it - it knows.

Next thing you know - 3 and a half hours of your life has passed you by.....

and you don't even get a conformation e-mail stating that the damn thing was recived at the other end

wordpress

2007-05-12T20:02:00.000-04:00

HEY YOU WORDPRESS FIENDS (yes i said fiends)

all my comments are going to your spam folders - GRRRRRRRR

5 Questions x 2

2007-05-09T22:22:00.000-04:00

So Just Saying finally sent me my 5 questions and I FINALLY am replying… ADDITIONALLY -- ME sent me 5 TOO!… so here they all are:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JS?1) It's obvious after reading your blog for a while now that you are ready to
settle down, define Mr. Right, what kind of guy are you looking for?

~Have you ever heard the expression “lead, follow, or get out of the way?” I want NONE of these in Mr. Right

~ I am looking for a man who wants to be married and have children - not because it is what he is SUPPOSED to do it at this stage in life but because he is in love with me and WANTS TO…

~ I am looking for a man with whom I can carry on conversations about everything and nothing - and have comfortable silences with too….

~ I am looking for a man who can make me laugh and also get my humor - typically sarcastic & dry

~ I am looking for someone to somewhat balance me out - to give me space when I need it, to support me when I need it

~ but mostly - I am looking for someone to be my partner and to share my life with, ups AND downs….

JS?2) You have so much to offer. You are funny, intelligent, sweet and yet it
would seem that so much of your self esteem is tied up in your personal
appearance... Why do you think this is?

~ The first time I was told I needed to lose weight.. I was 6... It was my figure skating coach who I looked up to…. Even though my mom told her off - it stuck

~ By the time I was 10, my paternal grandmother was harping on me about my weight yet shoved food down my throat

~ In high school, the few people I dated were college students who I met at the local university when I was studying in the library where my mom worked - I NEVER dated anyone my age, and I never told the guys the truth. I was never overweight, but I was harassed and teased and picked on. I had diet pills shoved in my locker. I would have people ask me if I wanted to go to a party or to a movie with a group or to hang out - and then be told “ too bad [insert euphemism for overweight here]

~ In college, I was friends with all the guys I knew, but none of them dated me - the size 12 (btw - I LOST the freshman 15 my 1st year)… they dated the stick figures

~ Then my own mom started making comments on my weight… of course she was also shoving food down my throat like the mother-in-law she hated

~ Even today - I am the overweight girl in the group…. Ever time I am with my friends, I am the one who gets passed over… I am the short dumpy one - even when I try my hardest to look my best…

JS?3) If you could change any one thing about your life... Anything... What would
it be and why?

~ I would have moved away from the town I live in as SOON as I graduated from college and moved to a major city instead of still being here….

JS4) If you could change any one thing about the world... Anything... What would
it be and why?

~ End discrimination - …. Even today, in ENGLISH class we ended up talking about the Civil Rights Movement and how it effected them - how the legislation of Brown vs. The Board of Education was actually the basis for the legal arguments of inclusive education for students with disabilities - I’m not saying everyone should always agree with everyone else’s belief’s - but accept that different people have different beliefs

JS?5) What has been your greatest accomplishment to date, and what is one thing
you hope to accomplish in the future?

I think my greatest accomplishment has been to reach individual kids that I have worked with over the last few years…. From the 2 autistic children who I started working with weeks after they were diagnosed until they were ready to go to school with out supports (their current teachers don’t even believe that they HAVE autism) to the girl who had me last year as a 9th grade learning support English student and I pushed out into regular English - she has THE HARDEST 10th grade English teacher this year (not my fault), she is successful in there, AND she is our school’s Poet Laureate this year

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ME?1) When looking for a guy, what's most important...money, appearance, or status?

~ None of the above… because all of those fade… but I think I kind of already answered this one above….

ME?2)When you were younger, what did you think your life would be like at this point?

~ I have never been the kind of girl who planned her life out… I don’t know what my wedding will be like (ok, I know what I would like my wedding DRESS to look like if I could loose some more weight)

~ The most I could say is that I have always pictured myself in the role of teacher - just not THIS role….

~ I originally though I would be a figure skating teacher

~ I then though I would be a music teacher - I can play the piano, flute, piccolo, violin, viola, timpani, and well, a number of others with a lot of practice……..

ME?3) What is your secret talent? Why haven't you shared it with us before?

~ I can fold my tongue into a W - I tried to take a picture but it didn’t work….

ME?4)In your life, who--if anyone--do you trust 100%?

~Myself…. Each of my best friends knows a LOT about me… but NO ONE knows it all…

ME?5)What is your morning routine? Take us through, step by step, what you do between waking up and leaving for work.

~ 5:50 Radio alarm goes off and vaguely acknowledge it… its SUPPOSED to “softly” wake me up, but I never actually get up….
~ Cell phone alarm goes off @ 10 min later - I turn it off
~ Cell phone alarm 2 goes off 20 min later - I use the snooze button
~ Alarm on the other side of the room goes off so I get up and hit THAT snooze button -

*Now I have 2 randomly timed snooze alarms going off on both sides of the room AND an awake dog

~ By 6:40 at the latest I give up and take the little shit outside, give him a treat and take my am meds
~ Shower - I start w/ my hair and end at my toes
~ Hair up in a towel I then brush my teeth, deodorant, lotion, then attempt to blow dry my hair by flipping my head upside down….if, when I flip back up it isn’t going 12 directions great - it will settle down by the time school starts…. Otherwise it goes up in a clip.
~ I then block the dog in the bathroom/bedroom end of the hallway & get dressed….
~ Then I grab my stuff and head off to face the world

grrrr

2007-05-05T23:01:00.000-04:00

i did laundry today - the problem is that if i let the dryer actually DRY my clothing they dryer destroy's my clothing by shrinking them or burning them

so EVERY SINGLE PAIR OF JEANS & DRESS PANTS that fit(the rest are WAY to big now - YEAH and on there way to the salvation army) are hangining in my bathroom drying

only i would get asked out buy a guy and HAVE TO SAY NO because i LITERALLY have NOTHING to wear!

timing is everything

2007-05-02T23:07:00.000-04:00

ok, so may of you know i have been dealing with some health problems this school year...

for the most part they have been managed by meds... but they have really interfered with my daily life

at the same time i have constantly said: "at least it's not cancer or something else that could kill me"

and then my best friends father was diagnosed with one of the most deadly kinds of cancers

and then super trainer was diagnosed with breast cancer

and then, in addition to the always, painful periods (sorry guys) the shooing pain's in my left breast became bad enough that i started tracking them but found that they aren't related to my menstrul cycle or my lifting routines or the food i eat or anything else that i can figure out....

so when i had my annual with the OB/GYN last week i told her

she didn't feel anything but she set up an appointment for to have my first mamogram

my ob/gyn is the #1 ob/gyn in the tri-state are - LITERALLY

she is sending me to a different doctor who is affiliated with DIFFERENT hospital

evidently i am being sent to the #1 boob lady

but there is MORE

then i read neil's post about "our" sophia.

then the next day i go to work and find out that our school is doing a big fund raiser walk for cancer.

so i am going to take this one day at a time....

oh - and i am going to do the walk in memory of those in my family who have lost the good fight, in honor of those who have won it... and in support of those i know who are kicking its ass - and w/ her permission - in support of sophia too!

if anyone would like to send a donation, please e-mail me at whyaskwhyme@gmail.com and i will send you my contact info so you can do so - or dontate to your local cancer society, and then post to my comment section so we know you helped fight the good fight!!

DC trip attempt 3 - blogger keeps eating this post

2007-04-23T21:01:00.000-04:00

so i got to DC on saturday and checked into my room. i got a phenomonal rate on my room through travelocity.com and then after a hotwater issue, i ended up paying as much for all 4 nights as i was supposed to pay for 1 night - and the bed was comfortable too!

so on sunday i met short man and went sight seeing. we went to a bistro for lunch, to the air & space musume, and then walked the mall. for the most part we chatted and i didn't take a lot of pictures, and some didn't come out (hey - i was using my dad's camera, not my own.) but here is one of honest abe:

and here is one w/ my back to abe, from the top of the steps, facing the reflecting pool off the washington monumont... at the far end of the pool is the "new" world war II monument. i wanted to go back on wed to take pics (it was SUPER croweded on sunday) but it was raining). to the right of the reflecting pool right at the bottom of the steps of the lincon memorial is the new korean war memorial - it is interesting.

the next day, i began riding the metro into the city - it is SO EASY (well, as long as the ticket machines work), clean, and inexpensive!!! after 9:30am, you can get an all day ride ticket for $6.50 and you can ride as much as you want!!!

Union Station is on the outside is imposing - inside, has become an overpiced tourist trap, but the archetecture is beautiful

after manuvering my way around the metro in the morning, i fliping the map around, i found my #1 interest, the supreme court - and if i had made it in the morning, i would have been able to see the justices in action!.. but i DID get to go into the actul court room - its AMAZING - but alas, photo's cannot be taken, not even during hearings or trials: IT's TRADITION!!!

i then walked around the capitol - i found out later that if i had walked around the OTHER side i would have been able to enter and go on a tour - but i didn't know and because there is a HUGE HOLE in front and a construction wall around it.... but that is ok.... i got to see some cherry blossoms instead:

I then meandered over to the botanical garden across the way and took some photos of some orchids:

and i will add more in a few days....

technology travisty

2007-04-15T20:30:00.000-04:00

i think the powers that be do not want me to do ANYTHING regarding technology!

my cell has been giving me crap

the new desktop i bought last monday was messed up.... i got a new one today

it SEEMS to be ok so far, except that i can't make a backup recovery disk - i keep getting this same error:

Back up error: I/O device error (0 x 8007045D)

its an HP Pavilion Slimline and i got it at a great price.... because the one i got last week was on sale and they couldnt fix it or swap it they basicly gave it to me w/o charging me the difference between the other one and this one..... and yes... its running vista

well, off to try to do some more paperwork

wacky wild meme

2007-04-09T22:11:00.000-04:00

ok.... a little late but......

Mel tagged me w/ the letter W on a the Meme where you create a list of 10 things you like and 10 things you dislike starting w/ that letter - ok, I stretched some and used it to start a sentence - W IS HARD:

Likings:

Weekends (especially 3 & 4 day ones)
Watching my friends kids growing up
Waterfalls (especially the one's you can stand behind)
Walking thru the woods in the NE part of the US in the Fall as the leaves change
Window seats (where you can curl up with a good book &/or nap)
Winter days (especially when there is a nice fire to return to)
Whiskey (or Scotch, preferably top shell thank you)
Walking, especially w/ my dog
Wandering around NYC
Watching a good concert at an outside venue

Loathings:

Washing, folding & putting away laundry
Washing my car
Washing dishes by hand
Working on Mondays
Watching rude kids in public places
Watching the parents of the above kids not discipline their kids
Waiting because other people are lazy
Working on the weekend
Watching RERUNS on TV
Worrying about others

short short men....

2007-04-09T21:41:00.000-04:00

ROFLMAO

i LOVE how no one has commented about the TRIP but you HAVE all commented about "SHORT MAN" & his complex

i didn't CARE about the fact that we LITERALLY could see eye to eye

but i could tell he did based on on his expression as soon as he saw me walk out of the hotel...

ANYHOW.... (rolling my eyes)

positive news: i just got a KICK ASS new desktop for FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS so i am now back online!

i haven't had time yet to upload my pics but i will try to do so by the end of the week...

and well.... since i LITERALLY got back from the trip last night and got the new comp set up an hour ago, i have TONS of back reading and commenting to do so give me some time and i will get caught up w/ you all

hope you are all well my blogging buds!

vacation survival update

2007-04-05T17:05:00.000-04:00

i made it through the majority of my vacation...

overall i had a great time...

only a few minor mishaps....

i forgot MY camera so i had to borrow my dad's so i currently have no pictures to show you because he is out of town w/ HIS laptop for work

i didn't have hot water in my room for 2 days (they let me run across the hall both days) but they also took off @ 20% of my bill for all FOUR nights, not just 2 of them so i saved even MORE than i expected to (which was even better than having to move to a different room after unpacking)

MY laptop died so i am not giving a real up date as i am using my mom's really old DIAL UP comp to do this little "I AM ALIVE" update

the guy - he is only 5'3, took one look at me - 2 inches taller than him, and never looked me in the eye again for the rest of the day that he took me sight seeing.... he WAS a better date than the one i talked about over the winter holiday's though..

MORE UPDATES to come once i get a replacement computer or lappy fixed next week & hopefully the pics on dad's camera are decent and i will have something to post....

putting me first

2007-03-15T21:37:00.000-04:00

i have always wanted to travel....

as a kid, the kids around me went on vacations to many different places such as disney, mexico, myrtle beach, and europe and various exotic islands.

for many years i didn't get why we didn't go to these great places (ESPECIALLY DISNEY).

eventually, i realized that i had gotten to go to many historical places in the country along with all the figure skating trips my parents financially sacrificed for me during my childhood, and ultimately i have phenomenal memories that i would never have had if things had been different.

but now what do I do for me?

well, part of my traveling, er, lack of traveling issue has been the lack of money.

the other problem is that i like to do SHARE my experiences with other people.

but since i am 30 and STILL single.... and still broke ----- well, i have decided that i am going to start traveling alone to the destinations that the guys that i am interested in are at....

now, i know you are all going to post comments that that is CRAZY.... give me SOME credit - i am not just going to get on a plane and go somewhere just to meet someone who is probably going to end up being a freak like the guy in december.....

these are going to be places that i WANT to go to..... with the possibility that i may also get a date out of it too... but not necessarily - and it is is a good or bad date, that is besides the point (but lets hope for it being a good one)

my first trip is going to be to washington dc in a couple weeks... i have been wanting to go to DC as an adult (the last time i was there i was 15) for YEARS but haven't gone for all the above listed reasons... and a friend of mine moved there @ 18 months ago and has been trying to get me to visit...

and i have been getting to know a guy who lives in the DC area.... and we were joking on the phone and, well, the words "when we visit" came rolling out of his mouth w/o a second thought

and then the next time we talked i found a way to slip it into the conversation again and he commented that he knows, being a teacher, i have a structured schedule and then asked about my spring break....

well, i made my reservations today....

i know i am going to go to the monuments, and the smithsonian, but where else should i plan on going?

2007-03-11T22:03:00.000-04:00

my visual DNA

2007-03-08T19:15:00.000-05:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

what about you?

Please Help!

2007-03-07T22:20:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends, family, and colleagues,

This is a wonderful opportunity to help underprivileged women in shelters. It is FREE and only takes a few seconds. The company just wants you to see their website.

You probably never thought of this, but women's shelters in the U.S. go through thousands of tampons and pads monthly. Assistance agencies generally help with expenses of "everyday" necessities such as toilet paper, diapers, and clothing, but one of the most BASIC needs is overlooked - feminine hygiene products. "Every month" necessities seem to have fallen through
the... well, let's say they've been overlooked.

Seventh Generation, a green paper products and cleaning products company, has a do-good attitude and will donate a box of sanitary products to a women's shelter in your chosen state - just for clicking the link. Talk about easy! Just click here:

http://www.tampontification.com/donate.php

Thanks for helping out. Please pass this on to others.

ummm... yeah... i got nuthin'

2007-03-07T22:08:00.001-05:00

it's one of THOSE weeks....

you know - the kind where you want to squeeze you eyes closed and make everything backup so you can have a do-over....

or you want to wake-up and find out its all been a REALLY REALLY bad dream...

suffice it to say:

1) i STILL haven't sent my tax stuff to my accountant

2) i have a ton of laundry to do and i may not have enough clean underwear to get through friday night

3) i disciplined a physically disabled kid on monday who made accusations that aren't true and i got questioned

4) i flipped my lid on tuesday on another kid when, after acting up for 30 minutes and NOT following his behavior plan, called me a cunt....

now i am in trouble.....

when did kids stop being head accountable for their bad behavior? i am not denying that i was in the wrong, but he has been allowed to get away w/ so much crap all year and i have gotten ZERO administrative backup...

my personal hell

2007-03-03T17:40:00.000-05:00

the number one thing i hate more than anything in the world is clothes shopping

yes, you read that right, i am a woman who HATES to shop - i loathe it, detest it, cringe at the thought, it has been known to make me weep...

but, even i have to admit that it was time....

some of my clothes are actually
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BIG

yes, i said it, too BIG!!!

so last weekend, i let my coworker/friend drag me to the mall...

i wasn't ready to try the real store yet - i was realistic and went to layne bryant ONE MORE TIME...

and i am right - it was the LAST time i will EVER have to shop there again.

because layne bryant's smallest size is a 14, and guess what - i am the official owner of size 14's!!!!!

so next time i need new clothes, i get to go to a NORMAL store

YIPPI!!!!!

TMI Tuesday on Wednesday

2007-02-28T21:42:00.000-05:00

i loved (most) of these questions too much NOT to FINALLY play TMI tuesday, even it it IS wednesday

1. commando: sexy or disgusting? do you have a “best” commando story?
i DO think there are times where it is inappropriate - i AM a teacher - so at work i wear underwear.... and at the gym - GROSS.... but the rest of the time..... i am SO commando....

my "BEST" story has to be when ex realized the 3rd of 4th time he was undressing me that i was AGAIN commando.... he made some comment about not minding having to take off the extra layer or that it didn't take that much extra time - something stupid.... i started laughing at him and had to inform him that i wasn't commando for him but for me!

2. foreplay: is there such a thing as too much?
if you have to ask this question you have never had good foreplay

3. oral sex: good if you are getting? good if you are giving? equally ewwwww?
good if you are getting it ONLY if he is good at giving it

i honestly am not crazy about giving it, but i have been told by more than one ex that i am VERY good.... i take direction very well, and am more than willing to give it to get it and will give it if i have gotten it (fair is fair)

i hate 69.... i find it too distracting... i can't focus on what i am doing AND relax enough to get off at the same time

4. orgasm: is one per night enough or does the first one just get your motor running?
if you can keep me cumming..... then you better ;)

5. morning sex: “oh hell yes!”, “well if i have, too.” or “just get in the shower and go to work.”
i understand i am in the minority of women who actually LIKE morning sex, but i don't like slam bam thank you ma'am morning sex

bonus (as in optional): have you ever had anonymous sex? have you ever had an orgasm without at least knowing your partner’s last name?
no.... i couldn't SPELL or PRONOUNCE his last name right (ok, i still can't)

horridscope tuesday

2007-02-27T15:03:00.000-05:00

Thinking about others is almost always second nature to you, but right now a little voice is saying, 'But what about me, me, me?' Go ahead and give yourself some extra loving attention and kindness too.

and that is why when i woke up at 3am, and found myself still awake at 5am this morning feeling like i was going to puke and like i had multiple knives in my head and my meds not working, i had NO PROBLEM picking up the phone at 6:30 for the first time to call my principle to call off... so for the first time i could take a muscle relaxant....

i caved

2007-02-24T19:05:00.000-05:00

yeah....

so, um....

HOW many times have i bitched lately about "best friend"?

last week i finally went over to her house for the evening since her daughter was sick and didn't have gymnastics and lappy was sick so i couldn't do any school work at home....

i figured i would go and see how it went and kind of go from there.......

she started out by apologizing for not seeing me on my birthday and said that she wanted to take me out asap....

and... by the end of the night i had somehow ended up agreeing to be her emergency back-up babysitter tonight because her mother-in-law screwed her over...this weekend, every year, best friend & hubby are involved in an all day charity event.... on MONDAY the in-laws backed out of taking the kids all day & overnight..... so i agreeded to take the dinner to 10pm shift.....

granted, i love the kids & have missed spending time with them ~ and they both have missed me ~ as soon as they were dropped off by the afternoon coverage i got HUGE hugs - now i still expect it from the 8 year old girl, but not from the 11 year old BOY (i think he actually gave me a BIGGER, TIGHTER, and LONGER hug than his sister)... they are currently setting up their new "wii"

fortunatly they are getting along fairly well - or i would have to play the DISCIPLINARIAN.... which i don't want to do since i haven't really seen them in 6 months....
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one BIG difference is that THIS time, they are insisting on paying me.....hummm... maybe the time w/o me around an my help made them realise how much they had been taking advantage of me?????
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post bedtime update.... and since they have better wireless than my building gives, i have been able to do some updates on my blog template (aka - the right side)

fortune cookie

2007-02-22T22:46:00.000-05:00

i have been CRAVING chineese food non-stop the last few weeks....

i have to admit, tonight's fortune - well, you know the old "in bed" ending???

any takers? ;)

"Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or better"

horridscope saturday / pissy bitching day

2007-02-17T22:01:00.000-05:00

Telling people what they want to hear never works, although it may feel initially like it gets you off the hook. If you need more time to contemplate your next move, say so. It's within your rights.

OR - in this case, i'll just keep my mouth shut

ok, well, by now you all know, to say the least "best friend" - and yes, at this point in time i am using that term VERY LOOSELY has at best hurt my feelings and at worst slid to the bottom of the list of people i want to deal with for a long time

about 2 weeks before b-day she E-MAILED to find out what i wanted to do for my "big day" and i replied with 3 different suggestions. one was about a concert (for the previous FIVE YEARS she & her husband have taken me to one), one was about going to a play, and the third was just about going to dinner

the only response was "i don't know if we will be able to get a sitter for the concert"

OMG -- YOU HAVE 2 F*%$ing weeks to get a sitter and i KNOW it's not about money because even in their worst financial situations she has been honest about that

and what about the OTHER TWO suggestions i gave you!! HELLO!!! the concert wasn't the only suggestion i gave

fine

WHATEVER

anyway

so FINALLY, the day AFTER my b-day she calls and she & her kids yell the b-day song at me in the phone and she says they are on the way to dinner w/ her mom and she will call back on their way home to make plans for my b-day dinner

uh hu

NOT

FINALLY, she called me on THURSDAY, 30 minutes BEFORE school got out!!! she KNOWS i can't answer my cell at 2:45 - so to me that says avoidance - aka: i want to pretend to be the good friend but i really don't want to talk to you so i am calling you when i know you can't answer the phone. she left a long detailed message of why she didn't call back the day before and what was going on that night and how i should call back friday or today

i DO NOT THINK SO - why should I have to call HER to get HER to take ME out to dinner or even better, why should i call her to find out why she is too busy to help me celebrate my birthday

and yes - i KNOW i am being passive agressive, selfish, childish, and a bitch

post 2 of the day

2007-02-16T20:59:00.000-05:00

i know a secret

in the grand scheme of the world it is a little thing - but for the people involved..... its a big one - actually it is a combination of secrets....

actually... if i think about it - i know a LOT of secrets - some i have kept for years

i am what you might call a SECRET KEEPER....

for some reason, people feel comfortable divulging things to me that they would not tell their best friends

but this time i am going to share part of the secret..... for i am still wondering why it was shared

today, an administrator at my school told me somethings about his personal life

the part i am shareing is that he is living in my development.... now, it happens that i already knew his "secret" because i have 2 eyes & had observed his recent travels to and from work along the same route as mine... however this is NOT public knowledge in my school where gossip typically runs rampant like wild fire.... when he saw me in the hall today he, looked around (as if to check for others) and then asked me if i lived in the development... i looked at him w/ a look that said "duh!, you know i do" but politely answered yes.... he then told me he did too... not one to play coy i said i knew he did... he said "you do?" to which i said "i DO have 2 eyes, but i also know when to keep my mouth shut, and since it's not my business, i have." he then told me if i ever have car problems to feel free to give him a call in the morning and i did vice versa....

of course.... i would NEVER ASK for help... but that is a totally different passive aggressive issue

the weird thing though is... why would an administrator confide in a 2nd year teacher?????

poor lappy

2007-02-16T19:52:00.000-05:00

yes dirk, i am blatantly stealing your term lappy....

that said ---- lappy is QUITE ill

however, the high school IT kids in my school should be able to fix it next week..... will it work all weekend??????????? well, that is the biggest question

so lets all keep our fingers crossed that i at LEAST get my lesson plan written before full crash occurs..

oh---and get this, the corruption seems to stem from, of all things, MY ANTI-VIRUS SOFTWARE!!!!

so if i seem to fall off the face of the earth in the next few days.... we know what to blame!

snow day bliss

2007-02-15T21:21:00.000-05:00

i was so excited - NO SCHOOL on the disgustingly sweet day

i hate the hallmark holiday

the only flowers i have ever gotten in my entire 30 years have been from my parents on my birthday... unfortunately - because my b-day is the day before hallmark holiday red hearts & flowers i tend to get red roses --- they ARE beautiful this year, as the pic (my first posted pic btw) shows - even if it IS from my crappy camera phone....

"we" have an extraordinarily high number of obese students at my school - and how many of them will be given candy for hallmark holiday??

so when hallmark holiday is chosen as the first day to be called as a snow day in YEARS i was THRILLED.......... unfortunately, many of the kids still brought their crap to school today..

on the positive side - MY birthday flowers, although 2 days late, were delivered to me at school/work today too : )

b-day flowers from the `rents

2007-02-15T20:44:00.000-05:00

hiccups

2007-02-14T21:19:00.000-05:00

OUCH

for the THIRD night in a row, at 9:15 have had the MOST PAINFUL case of hiccups

i don't know why

and i can't make them stop

they are the kind that are loud and make your entire body shake and they are painful!!!!

the only thing that ever made them stop when i was a kid was hanging upside down on the monkey bars on the playground - however that option is out since there is so much snow, even if i could FIND a playground the monkey bars would be buried!!!

MAKE THEM STOP!!!! :(

happy birthday to me

2007-02-13T18:46:00.000-05:00

*signing at the top of my lungs off key*

happy birthday to MEEEEEEE

happy birthday to MEEEEEEE

happy birthday to MEE EEEE

happy birthday to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

i got nothing

2007-02-12T22:37:00.000-05:00

i have been home since @ 7:30

i have read my regular blog reads

i have posted on many of them

i have checked my e-mail (all 3 accounts... or is it 4?) multiple times

i have chatted w/ numerous friends, family members & bloggers

but i have abso-fu%#ing-lutly nothing to blog about

well, except that in @ 75 min i will be 30 years old

another year

another decade

*sigh&

winter "wonder" land

2007-02-11T11:13:00.000-05:00

wow, it's been a week

ok, so most of it i spent in bed..... on a daily basis i find myself weighing the pros & cons of the benefits vs. the side effects of the medications i am on - this week was a bad week...... although i must say the feeling of my head floating above my body was an interesting feeling.... i don't think the extreme cold is helpful for my head - as soon as i walk outside i get a crushing pain ripping through my head....

living in the northeast, i have been hit by the snow storms of 2007 - not as bad as Oswego & Mexico New York, but still, it has been pretty cold & white... i wish i had a digital camera to show you the 3 foot snow & icicle overhang outside of my window - it is incredible!! i mean, literally - the over hang OUT away from the building is 3 more feet... and some of the icicles hang down 6 or more feet!

However, we have still had school because 1) we don't bus our kids (they take public transportation or walk) and 2) most of our families are below the poverty line and can't afford alternative child care or to take the day off from work.... and 3) since we don't' know how long the cold snap will be the superintendent decided to just have school and if parents don't want to send the kids fine....just send a note in w/ the kids when they come back in.... on the PLUS side, most of the bad kids have been gone and school had actually been pleasant

i did something yesterday i haven't done for YEARS -- i went SNOWSHOEING!!! there is a local nature area that has some walking trails and biking trails. and you can rent snow shoes for only a few bucks and away you go. we had a blast. i was a little bumed when i saw that along the edge of the trail is a huge development of homes - granted, if i could afford one of those homes, i would probably want to LIVE in one of them.... but it is sad that right next to the nature center you find this development....... positives of the day included: i remembered to layer and to NO wear cotton, because any outdoors person knows "cotton kills" and i got a fairly good workout (this i know as my ass still hurts ;) .... the only negative is that i wanted to hike longer but was exhausted after an hour & my friend is defiantly in better shape than i am in... but i HAVE been sick.... one day at a time... one hike at a time

stupid bowl xli

2007-02-05T18:52:00.000-05:00

i must say, in the past i basically watched the super bowl to watch the commercials

i honestly think this year the game was more interesting....

however, a few of the ad's piqued my interest:

6) Wild Hogs Movie Trailer - i mean come on, buildings blowing up, slap stick humor, a GREAT cast, kids doing house hold chores for pathetically low wages, and HOGS!!!!!!!

5) FedEx in outer space - it made me laugh

4) The Doritos ad created by the 19 year old student

3) GM's "all by my self" the ad was SO pathetic when the riveting machine dropped the rivet and then they kicked the thing out i actually was almost crying - ok, so i am still depressed so it doesn't take much... but still

2) Sprint - Connectile Dysfunction (CD) had me rolling on the floor
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1) The FUNNIEST ad was the Snickers Kiss

post 100 / horridscope thursday

2007-02-01T20:44:00.000-05:00

if we count my 8 7's posts & my 1oo's post, this is my official 100'th post!

and it is another installment of horridscope thursday

Your spirits need a boost. It's time to take yourself out. You can go solo or not, but it's important to get out there and have a fantastic time. You'll find inspiration for so many other parts of your life too.

YA THINK?!?!?!?

gee - tell me something i don't know... but since i don't even have the energy to do my laundry so i have clean clothing for work, what the hell would i wear, let alone where would i go?

so, i think i will stick with going to work, the gym, & the wimpy therapist - little steps, i am taking little steps & we will be happy with that for now

horridscopes-r-us

2007-01-31T21:56:00.001-05:00

If it feels right, you should do it. Sometimes the emotional logic overwhelms and outweighs the rationality. After all, feelings are evidence, too, and they shouldn't be ignored. Don't forsake your heart for your brain

and this is why i am friends with all the guys in my life.... and nothing more

random catch-up

2007-01-31T20:22:00.000-05:00

i lost FOUR pounds last week!!! YIPPI.... of course, i dont think i had lost a pound in 3 months.... how did celebrate? i had cake

actually thought, truth be told i have been REALLY REALLY good with my "new eating habits" - NOT a diet... i really DON'T eat junk food - people offer me candy and i say no thank you... i don't add salt or sugar.... i haven't been eating foods i am allergic to (and that is a LOT of food)and i drink a LOT of water every day - my students joke that i am going to pee my pants during class if i am not careful....

i am SO financially in a bind that i had to cut down from my hour workouts to half hour workouts....and then, today, super trainer - wow, she had to cancell last week due to a doctor's apt - well, it turns out she has breast cancer.... we are talking about a woman who is totally into eating healthy and taking car of herself, and she is only 40 years old - it kind of makes you think about why we kill ourselves to be so healthy though .... *sigh* she KNOWS she is going to have it removed and then she will have chemo & radiation - she KNOWS she will do the most aggressive therapy out there..... i feel so BAD for her and at the same time i don't know what to do for her....and then on the flip side - i feel selfish because i wonder how this will affect me because training wise, she is the best trainer at the gym for me - i KNOW that is selfish and self-centered - but at the same time, she WANTS to keep working...

work is.... i have been putting all the energy that i have into it - but it isn't enough - i am SO BEHIND..... i am basically doing exactly what i HAVE to do - and that is about it... i HAVE to do a turn around this weekend or i will be in SO MUCH TROUBLE

a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste

2007-01-26T21:05:00.000-05:00

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap.
If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

horridscope sunday

2007-01-21T13:23:00.000-05:00

Learn to view yourself -- all of yourself -- with understanding and compassion.
Impossible standards just make life more difficult and love harder to give and
receive. Softening your attitude opens your heart.

someone asked me why i blog....

why do i blog?.....

i blog to vent....

i blog to share.....

i come on here to say the things i wont say to my friends and family, but you only see one side of me.....there are things about me you will never know, personnel details that i don't share

i tend to let my negative stuff out here, and let my positive side shine in public, kind of like free therapy (ok, "you know who you are", you suggested journaling - this took 3 hours to write)

everyone needs an outlet - and lately you have been it

i feel like every time i DO start to talk about a positive, it backfires...

once again, as i posted i started talking to a guy.... and things seemed to be positive..... i waited a bit to actually post about it.... well, last night i got the "i am so busy i just do feel it is fair to you" brush off... a relationship takes work... and if both people aren't willing to compromise and put forth the effort than it won't.... i can only take him at face value - so if he was telling the truth, then he finally met someone who gets him, odd quirks and all, but he is so busy that he doesn't have the time to put in the effort and he doesn't want me to compromise and wait it out.... so, then - i guess it is HIS LOSS - but damn, this one HURTS

some of you, from private e-mail, know i have been having health problems... i have been going up and down.... no, it is not life threatening... but i am sick every day... it wears a person out..... my friends IRL don't want to understand what is going on.... they don't seem to care.... they call me and start off by bitching about their problems, not asking me what is going on with me.... i don't know if any of them actually KNOW how sick i am... my doctor actually suggested i take a leave of absence from work.. but i am only a second year teacher and i don't want to do that.... i would go NUTS sitting around at home all day

ironically the one place i DO feel good is at the gym while working out - i guess the endorphins do boost morale, however i cant do it alone so i have been draining my wallet paying for super trainer... i know muscle takes up less space than fat... my weight hasn't really dropped but i am getting stronger and some of my clothing is getting bigger..... so i guess i am doing something right

up on my soap box

2007-01-15T15:20:00.000-05:00

a fellow blogger (and you know who you are) recently posted regarding the the whole judging a book by its cover and how it relates to women.... you know - how a pretty girl is physically pretty, but once you get to know her she is dumb as a box of rocks or she is a bitch..., but a not so pretty girl, well, they aren't that great these days either once you get to know them - i jumped into it w/ him to defend "us" and he proposed that i blog about it myself:

fine - i will stoop low enough to blog about it here ~ i will also explain WHY i was so heated and rose to the bait to blog about it at the end

I base my thoughts today on a number of fronts: my background in psychology, my years as a teacher, and my years being the friend of members of the in crowd but not being cool enough to BE a member OF the in crowd (of course, i always thought it was too much work to actually be an active member)

relational aggression is a controversial concept regarding the downfall of teenage girls - it looks at how teenage girls attack each other and break each other down until there is one "queen bee" with her minions and the rest have stomped each other out..... but there must be something to the concept for there to be as much research about it as there is....

remember the movie heathers with winona rider? and now mean girls, shes all that, and all the other teen angst movies out there

i had the opportunity to work with one of the founders of the opheilia project when setting up some after school groups at my school and we have seen a drastic decrease in problems with the girls in my school.... but will it last??? and will it cross over to the "real world" once they leave our isolated bubble? truthfully, i doubt it - because the rest of the world is just, well, MEAN...

there have always been the pretty girls, the girls who don't care one way or another, the girls who float on the fringe, the average girls who fit in in their social groups and then the, well - not so pretty girls.

basically, unless your parents are complete an utter shits you are told you are pretty/cute/beautiful from the moment you are born - even if you are funny looking (or worse)

somewhere along the line though, social status starts to take hold - it seems to be as much nature as nurture - but it happens.... and unless you have a constitution as strong as iron, your psyche starts to crumble

there are those who rise to the top, who seem impervious to the mean girls, who are sweet to everyone and they are friend to everyone, regardless of group membership. they tend to be pretty and smart and funny..... there are those who float thru w/o being harassed - they just kind of exist w/o making a blip on anyones radar, for better or worse..... .. then there are the mean girls who are well, just that - MEAN and they walk over, and/or THRU everyone

so take the average (or less than average girl) who has to go thru the awkwardness of puberty with all the crap that comes with it..... and now add dating and the archaic rules that no one really understands

can you blame her for putting up a wall when she repeatedly gets crapped on for being herself? can you blame her for pulling into a shell? for using sarcasm as a form of self protection? you can only put on the act of being happy and sweet for so long before it wears on you and wears you out..

- i am almost 30, yet i am the NOT cover model, i am a girl who at times has a self-confidence issue.... i was, sometimes harasses, but other times defended.... sometimes i cared, sometimes i didn't- it really just depended on who was harassing me..... - i have a job i am good at, friends and family who love and support me, but it still HURTS to be passed over.... so i put up a wall that shows itself as sarcasm as a way to protect myself..... i workout 3 to 4 days a week and eat right, but i got sick and had to take cortisone which packed 30 pounds on me that won't come off so i look like the fucking stay puff marshmallow chick..... i have gone on more first dates this past year than i have gone on the rest of my life combined - and only 3 of them i didn't want to go on a 2nd... and they were the 3 that called back....

i am a great person with a lot to give, but i find that the social scene is just like high school.... the pretty girls get hit on by the hot guys... when the hot guys get drunk and the pretty girls get taken the not so hot guys or the left over hot guys then move on to the 2nd tier girls... (where for the most part i still fall) but you feel like left overs at that point.... so of course by then, your feet hurt, and you are tired of seeing the pretties and the skinnies get 1st dibs.... so forgive me for not being a ray of fucking sunshine every time i am out in public

and drop the double standard - because it is still ok for guys to act like jerks, to swear, to burp, to act like an ass...

and besides, why must a woman still always act perfect?

Delurking & Identity Crisis

2007-01-11T18:38:00.000-05:00

ok, so if you can blog, than you can read.

hopefully you have noticed that i am TRYING to stay positive - or not post at all.

i have been having a bit of a rough week and feel a bit discombobulated (computer crashed, kids AND coworkers going crazy at work, feeling crappy, michigan AND ohio getting shellacked, the lack of snow... shesh this list could go on and on - but i digress)

anyhow, i DON'T want to bitch at you.

so, in lue of international blogger delurking week, if you have been lurking - could you introduce yourself and boost my ego???

thanks!

qg

horridscope sunday

2007-01-07T14:54:00.000-05:00

so, after last year's dating trauma's you would think i would take a break... but NO, i seem to be a glutton for punishment.... it seems that the new year sent all the single guys to the electronic dating pool at the same time, for all of a sudden my inbox is full with "new and interesting people who want to meet me"

fine

whatever

new year - new dating attitude

so, i got a call last night from the new one i gave my number to... and we talked for 3 hours and then he had to go as he was going out with a friend - a little nerdy, but a great sense of humor... seems to know when to push and when to back off during a conversation.... went to end the phone call and asked if he could call back soon and we were still talking 20 minutes later (door bell actually rang and i heard the friend in the background) i told him he could call back when he got home as i was sure to be up late.... he called but felt bad since it was 11 pm - we were STILL on the phone at 3 am!!!

when we got off the phone he said he enjoyed talking to me and would call in a few days....

so today i did the whole song and dance around the apt - i wanted to let him know that i enjoyed talking to him too....but i didn't want to come off stalkerish....

what is a girl to do.... well, i remember that during our conversation he noted that he found me to be a strong and confident woman who seems to march to my own drummer....

and then i read:

Flirtation is just the icing on the already delicious cake when you meet someone
(or a few different someones) with whom you really connect. So let your best,
most brazenly adorable side come out to play.

well.... he jokingly alluded to the phone calls as dates... well, after a typical date the girl either waits around for the guy to call 3 days later or brazenly picks up the phone and calls the next day herself ... but what do you do after a phone date???

well, i let my most brazen adorable side come out to play, and sent him an e-mail

**** UPDATE for those of you who were nosey and e-mailed me, this was the e-mail i sent him:

i just wanted hi and let you know i had a great time last
night... i truely don't remember the last time i had that much fun just talking,
nor can i think of a conversation that covered that wide a variety of topics : )
i hope you have a good rest of the weekend & to hear from you soon

weather

2007-01-05T21:52:00.000-05:00

one of my "non-goals" of the year is to attempt to stay positive for as long as possible...

i work in one of those pod buildings with the movable walls, leaving me in a room without windows.... which leaves me without natural light for most of the day

and when i DO get out of the room, i do what ever i can to be near a window

unfortunately, and if you have paid any attention to the weather, the northeast has been under a cloud

now, the GOOD news is that the temps have been nice enough that i wore sleeveless shirts and open toed shoes all week

the bad news, is that it has been raining SO MUCH that i would rather it was snowing

horridscope thursday

2007-01-04T20:41:00.000-05:00

Your willingness to appreciate the absurd (and to be absurd yourself) is one of your most endearing traits. Your loved ones know how lucky they are to have a true individual like you in their lives.

I resemble that remark :P

new year / new start

2007-01-01T07:46:00.000-05:00

i woke up on this new year at an unbelievably early time....

i found it unseasonably warm for the north east....so i did the unthinkable and i went for a (sort of) morning hike, unfortunately there was no chance to see a sunrise w/ the cloud coverage...

it had actually gotten a little chillier by the time i arrived home from my walk, but i decided to throw open the windows for a bit bring the outside in... and i am glad....

and then i heard a song... the song itself, not the greatest, but something in the chorus spoke to me, and i think it's my new mantra: from Gavin DeGraw, Chariot

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do

Or who I'm supposed to be I don't want to be anything other than me

so here is to a new year

Happy 2007!!

last post of 2006

2006-12-31T09:25:00.000-05:00

inspired by many i decided to first do a year in review. however, much of my year has not been blogged, so maybe it will be a new view of me for some of you....

THEN

blatantly, stolen from ms. sizzle, i have decided to list my intentions for 2007s

2006 in review

january - to the amazement of my friends, i walked away from a "relationship" that on the outside looked great.... on the inside it had sucked the life out of me: no sex, no love, no physical comfort - just party on the weekends together and then he would pass out drunk... i don't play arm candy well....
february - another birthday month alone....and lets not mention the "holiday"
march - i am starting to get tired of being everyone's whipping girl... so i skipped out on saint patricks day! it was actually kind of nice.....
april - got sick for the first time this year....... but i didn't say anything at work because i didn't want anyone to know.... i want my mommy
may - i am tired of being told that i won't be taken home because i am jewish... so i gave in and logged onto e-harmony
june - welcome me to blogger
july - my dating life got crapped on... again
august - when i went back to work this year, i was glad to have a job, but a lot of BAD things happened.... job's changed, people were sent to new schools, students are a lot worse than last year.... new administrators.... classrooms & sizes are different.... intentionally set fires.... basically, if you would like to know what a day in my life at work is like, watch the wire - no, i don't teach in the same location, but contrary to popular belief, kids in the middle of nowhere get into just as much trouble-or worse... and just because it doesn't make the news, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
september - went on a date....YEAH - didn't tell y'all about that - DID i?!?!? picked me up, took me to a nice restaurant, nice conversation, it was nice weather so we went for a walk around the square and saw the old men playing in their little quartet on the square.... and then he drove me home and -YEAH -the figured that since he paid for dinner that meant he deserved to get some..... remember that scene in "miss congeniality": sing: solar plexus, instep, nose, groin - ladies, LEARN IT! because it WORKS
october - so evidently mr. september kept his mouth shut because i had another date on halloween..... we had gone to lunch a couple of saturdays w/ some friends and decided to go out for our first "alone" go that night..... clammy hands... can't carry a conversation on his own.... and informed me that night that he thinks that women should be home barefoot and pregnant once they are married
november - i recognized the official death of a friendship when she got engaged and i didn't care.... btw, as i have heard the plans for this wedding i have actually become glad that i have no involvement too (orange dresses for the bridal party)
december - i have resolved that there will be many changes in my next year..... my family and i have been working together so that the next 5 & 1/2 months will be me working & living in this town, but as a means to finishing out this school year and that is it.... yes i have been experiencing dating hell and my ex's keep crawling out of the wood work

my 2007 intentions

move on from this town.... i have already been sending out applications for teaching in new areas of the country
accept me for who i am, for i am a strong, intelligent woman
ignore my internal critic, and if i can't ignore her - tell her to shove it
take more chances
go where i want to go, regardless of what others might think
take more time for me
continue saying no when i want to
start asking for help

i hope you all have a safe & happy new year

help/advice

2006-12-29T13:20:00.000-05:00

i have a question

ok, we know my dating life this year hasn't been, shall we say stellar...

so... over the last few weeks an odd phenomena KEEPS happening, and it has been bothering me for a while so i am finally posting this to you all, especially the guys:

men from my past keep popping up.

some i have dated.

some i have just been friends with.

some i have wanted more from.

some i still want more from.

some i will never get more from due to a variety of reasons.

ultimately though, i don't understand, why do they keep calling/e-mailing/im'ing me?

and just to clarify - NONE are even remotely close enough locationwise to be getting a piece of ass.

ok.. so i DO actually understand what is going on... what i guess i want to know guys - is WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MESS WHY CHICKS HEADS LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!!?

childhood flashback

2006-12-27T20:52:00.000-05:00

ok

i confess, NEED to stop watching ABC family - for one, i don't even HAVE a family.

but, GILMORE GIRLS is on EVERY DAY - and well, then you have EVERWOOD - and lets be honest, the only way to find a tv family that makes lorelai & rory look normal means you must watch everwood...

so, because i have an unhealthy need to watch abc family, i found out that Annie was on tv tonight. and i know, you are all now saying - whooped-dee-doo... but this is ACTUALLY a momentous situation... this is the VERY FIRST movies i EVER saw in a movie theater!

OH ---- AND, i skated to annie that year in my ice skating club's ice show too - damn i was cute

so please keep your snide comments to yourself ~ and for a minute bond w/ your inner child & let me know what YOUR first movie theater movie was...

horridscope wednesday

2006-12-27T18:17:00.000-05:00

You have a lot on your mind, not the least of which is budgetary concerns. It's overwhelming, but opportunities like this allow you to grow. If you weren't ready, you wouldn't be faced with this challenge.

so that should make it easier? to deal w/ the challenges of everyday life?

uh hu, yeah.... SURE.. ok

NOT

the date that went nowhere.....

2006-12-26T19:52:00.000-05:00

it has nothing to do with the distance....

it is even more complicated than the following reasons i gave to my mother:

he repeatedly checked his blackberry even though work knew he was unavailable
he is homophobic
he laughs like a hyena even though he has no sense of humor
he didn't hold the door open for me AT ALL

i am 29 years old. i want a man who is interested in me, not just himself and how the world effects him negatively. he didn't once ask me about me, or my job. we didn't talk about politics. we didn't talk about family or friends, or funny things that that happened when we were kids.

HE TALKED ABOUT HIS WORK.

lunch was at an ok sushi restaurant, and then went and saw the new Rocky movie.

at least he paid.

freedom personified

2006-12-21T18:00:00.000-05:00

ghost whispers

tiptoeing

stretching

the quiet in my school at 3:20 was so quiet it was freaky

i was looking over my shoulder to make sure i wasn't be watched as i left.

the next 12 days are MINE to do what i want, when i want, how i want, with WHOM i want...

well, ok, so i have some dr's. appts that i cant reschedule and some of my visiting is really going to be based around others work schedules, but you know what i mean.

i hope all you have a good holiday season if i am not around... however i probably will be as i don't expect to go too far....

holidays & heroes

2006-12-19T18:41:00.000-05:00

*sigh*

3 days and counting.....

how do you keep 75 kids under control for a week before holiday break?

i know what i am NOT doing - and that is by NOT handing them christmas pictures and crayons. i am sorry but i will NOT go there!!!!

so my older kids read a story about roberto clemente last week, and it called him a hero. so i had a conversation with them about hero's. i have to say i was actually QUITE impressed. remember, i teach kids who's average iq is about 70.

we started out by talking about how roberto was considered a hero because he lead the pittsburgh pirates to the world series twice. from there the discussion led to why & should professional athletes BE considered heroes. we talked about other famous people who are considered heroes such as oprah (over all consensus is that she is because she gives money to good causes, NOT because of her talk show), bill gates (again, because of the money) and martin luther king. the students were basically in agreement that anyone who does things to help others is a hero, even those we don't know about - and that athletes who are known for being good players shouldn't be, UNLESS they ALSO do good deeds.

from there, things got interesting. one of the students asked about new orleans and katrina. we talked about the good and bad things that happened with the helping for the people there. from there, someone brought up Bush........and the military

AND WE KEPT the conversation surrounding heroes.

lets just say on their own, they came to the following conclusion:

military = heroes

bush = NOT

the "office" party

2006-12-16T19:06:00.000-05:00

so, we ALL know it is holiday season

for those of you who don't know much about judaism - HANUKKAH IS NOT A MAJOR HOLIDAY!! it just seems like it due to the commercialization of christmas. i grew up in a home w/ a professor of comparative religion, i know more about religion than some cathloic school graduates - i am NOT into holidays - so sue me.

i am the lone jew in my school - well of the teachers, there are a couple students who are too

so, someone thought it would be a GREAT idea to DECORATE the classroom doors of the school AND to get a 20 FOOT tree for the lobby and EVERYONE should make a non-religious ornament

gee, why am i not getting into this?

a sub in the building offered to decorate my door for me because she knows how tough my class load is and she knows that my prep period is usually spent running around like a chicken w/ my head cut off - she even got hanukkah paper - but she only did half the door, so of course, my door looks like ass now....

and i don't have an ornament - since i couldn't put a menorah or a star of david on my ornament what the hell else would i put on it since everyone else wrote "merry x-mass" on theirs - so now i am the ungrateful one....

AND THEN CAME THE PARTY

the district covers a fairly large area and has like 20 buildings and has a big party for all the buildings next week.... but our building has its own party.... and it was last night....

well, for those of you who LOOK at your calendars, you know it was hanukkah - and thank you to those of you who sent me happy hanukkah e-mails *potc's*... so i was going to go to temple and i was using it as my way to get out of the party - granted services aren't that long

anyway - my principal backdoors me and makes me go to the damn thing by paying FOR ME... i admit it wasn't BAD, but it wasn't GOOD - oh, and the principal then no showed

and out of the 60 people who were there, only one wished me happy hanukkah

i guess i figure if you are going to ram YOUR holiday down my throat, remember mine too

what am i trying to say here? i dont know - i guess today is just a vent day

crass america

2006-12-14T21:02:00.001-05:00

so i am driving home from work today, and i found myself behind an suv w/ a homemade vanity window slogan.

no biggie - i live in white trash hickvill so this is "de-reguier anywhoo"

but this one was a real treat:

nothin' is sweeter than a fat man's peeter

after that, what else is left to say

reflections of a non-diva

2006-12-10T21:06:00.000-05:00

i find as i move thru my life that even though i make mistakes, i own them - even when i don't want to.

when it comes to mistakes at work, i will start to defend myself, and then i will just say " you know what - you are right." but i still feel, internally, that i should be allowed to defend myself, even when i don't.

when it comes to friendships, i am the go-to-girl. that being said, over the last 6 months or so, i have gotten better at saying no & asking for what i want/need. it hasn't gone over well. why - well, everyone has gotten USED to depending on me and they don't like having to find a new go-to-person.

when it comes to relationships, i tend to let myself get hopeful, but never expectant. i hope for lots of things to happen - but i never really EXPECT them to happen to or for me. my relationships tend to be one sided. when i DO become a bit assertive, the guys do the run-&-dump. they literally run, and THEN they dump me from afar - as though they are afraid i might physically hurt them if they were near me while dumping me

lately i have seen a pattern. all of the people in my life who mean something in my life i have evidently pissed off by being true to myself. either i have told them no or stood up to them by standing up FOR myself. yet they all for some reason keep coming back to me to tell me that i am a wonderful person.

so make up your mind people - either love and accept me for who i am and include me in your lives

or just go away - i don't need t rehash every mistake i have ever made

let love in

2006-12-05T23:48:00.001-05:00

(if this comes out funky i apologize - i am finding this whole using a cell phone to post a bit weird... my friend has this phone w/ the keyboard keypad and the keys are really tiny and it is dark but i guess it is working...... so i don't even have to wait to post this in 3 days when i catch up on sleep)

the goo goo dolls

the first time i saw the goo goo dolls was 10 years ago - i got in a "fight" w/ a guy in my college earth science lecture about them, and he took me to see them (it was free for me so i said sure... and i was hooked).... at the time i wasn't into "local" bands as i had grown up in a college town and had my fill of them growing up and was SO TIRED of hearing about how each band was the NEXT BIG BAND.....

so when a co-worker said, ROAD TRIP, i said, why not, whooped-dee-doo that we have work in the morning... i made sure to have a day where i wouldn't have to bring anything w/ me to grade or have to deal with & i got someone TRUSTWORTHY to deal w/ the puppers for dinner.....

so i left school w/ the kids when the bell rang today.... threw on my party boots & jeans (aka 3 inch heals cause i ALWAYS get stuck behind the TALL guy and low cut jeans w/ a hole in the knee and shredded ankles that i cannot wear at work on dress down day) and a CLEAVAGE SHIRT - HELLO LADIES ..... and off we went

and it was a pretty good show for a band who's lead singer turned 41 today.... some of the newer stuff is a bit..... ehhh.... but i like the new title track "let love in" that you can hear by clicking on the link and going to their site....

the opening act was called "get over it"... personally i though they looked like 4 anorexic teenage boys... and i "got over them" pretty quickly - but maybe that is cause i am "getting" older at ALMOST 30....

what was REALLY funny... RIGHT in front of me ---- 3 boys i had in home room a couple years ago!!!! 2 of their moms are good friends..... they picked up the boys and drove them... the moms had a girls night out and the boys got to see the concert.. MY mom was NEVER that cool... THE BOYS EVEN HAD THEIR MOM TAKE A GROUP PIC OF US AFTER THE SHOW!!!! thankfully we had no plans on drinking.........

so for once i took a night for me - and it was a good move.... of course, i may be regretting this in the morning... but i am NOT driving - and after i post this (please work please work please work) i am taking a nap but of course i am wired.......

am i ready to take their advice & let love in...... that is another story & another issue.... yes, i am ready to LET LOVE IN - however, i have not found the right man...... because, lets be honest - its not worth it unless it is w/ the right person

Leave The Pieces

2006-12-03T21:13:00.000-05:00

yeah... um... how often do i post song lyrics???????

so we will just leave it at that...

You're not sure that you love me

But you're not sure enough to let me go

Baby it ain't fair you know

To just keep me hangin' 'round

You say you don't wanna hurt me

Don't want to see my tears

So why are you still standing here

Just watching me drown

[Chorus]

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine

Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine

Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say

You're gonna break my heart anyway

So just leave the pieces when you go

You can drag out the heartache

Baby you can make it quick

Really get it over with

And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself

With this mess you've left for me

I can clean it up, you see

Just as long as you're gone

[Chorus]

You not making up your mind

Is killing me and wasting time

I need so much more than that

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[Chorus]

Leave the pieces when you go

Oh, yeah

Leave the pieces when you go

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Leave the pieces when you go

training oops!

2006-12-02T19:33:00.000-05:00

so, working with ST is a great workout

2 days later i am still sore, but it is good sore

but my BOOBS HURT!!!!

so, some of what happened....

she starts me out on the bike --- YUCK i say

but she puts me on one of those sitting ones, the ones w/ the backs - and it's NOT THAT BAD!!!

and then we do legs - but instead of BOTH legs at once, she makes me do them one at a time --- i didn't think i would get all 3 sets out, but now that i did it, i feel so accomplished!!!

and then we moved to arms & back..... my back - wow, i feel it still - but in a good way still - i'm gonna have a SEXY BACK - oh YES I AM

and then we move to chest and the hurtin' boobs...

she has me on the incline bench for fly's.... 8lbs..... no biggie - i can do this in my sleep... but then comes the twist..

"lets use an alternative grip" and she turns my hands so my thumbs are facing DOWN

and one, and two, and three, and four, and f..i..v..e, a...n.....d...... and my arm slow motion collapses on me and of course there are HOT GUYS EVERYWHERE

fortunately i can laugh at myself... and ST laughs at my laughing - i actually didn't even realise i had done 6 until SHE MADE ME DO IT AGAIN!!!!

so until next time!

have a happy saturday!

Medical Clearance

2006-12-01T17:53:00.000-05:00

the dr. said i can go back to working out again. yeah!!!!

so, i took my "permission slip" with limitations and went and had a sit down with my new trainer. i'm going to call her ST for Super Trainer from here on out

SHE ROCKS. she is built like a brick shit house. - ok, so what that actually means, i don't know, but ST is tall, thin, and muscular - but is still built like a woman - not a freak.

AND SHE LISTENS TO ME. she took the time to get to know me as both a client and a person.

we talked for @ half an hour and THEN worked out for my hour appointment.

and i am excited to be working out again - even if i did look like an idiot after 9 weeks out of the gym.

i can't wait until next week with ST!!!

wake up calls

2006-11-27T13:20:00.000-05:00

got to love when the phone rings and a guy's voice is on the other end of the line

even better when you realize it is a hot guy

until you realize you look like ASS....

Today is an unofficial holiday in the "great state of PA - it is the opening day of rifle season for buck hunting (also known as "lets kill bambi's dad day!" for those of you who are a bit more crass)

anyway - i had called in a problem with my phone line last week.

today, i didn't have to go to work. since something like 99% of my students are hanging out in their tree stands today the school board makes today a "school holiday (ok, so most of my coworkers are there too)

so when the phone rang i was a little surprised, but i figured it was "new somewhat hopefully potential but not holding my breath since he lives a bit of a drive away guy"

but this guy had that hot steamy wake me up anytime you want voice

and he was hear to take care of my "work order"

um... what work order?

oh, darn - THAT work order

and THEN i let him in

HOT DAMN - and that was before he put on his tool belt

can you say DROOL FEST

and then i realised what i looked liked

Happy (pre) Turkey Day

2006-11-20T20:09:00.000-05:00

Stuff This

what does he want

2006-11-19T00:57:00.000-05:00

the last real one was @ 2 years ago....

and it lasted for @ 2 years...

over the last 2 years we have both moved.

i have the same cell number, partly as a way to be aware of when people like him are calling me -its my "little black book"

however, zabaserch and other search engines have made life easier for people to find people.

so, forget the fact that i had JUST ASKED ANOTHER GUY OUT for next saturday night - guess who called me out of the blue!

yeah

and all i want to know is why he is still calling.

this time i asked

i don't think i got an answer.

answers

2006-11-09T18:54:00.000-05:00

i asked for questions and you pulled through…

the first question came to me from “me” - me asks me:

what do i do to combat PMS & cramps ?

my OBGYN told me (at 13) that once I had a baby the cramps would be better – mom put the kabosh on that idea FAST ---- well, 16 years later I am still in pain… however, doc DID put me on the pill and that actually helps – for @ a year i took myself off of it and I regretted it so even though I am not having sex I am on the pill (and it helps w/ the complexion too!)

for a while I took pain killers but the OTC’s don’t work and it got to the point that all that worked were codine-based (which knock me out so really they don’t deal w/ the pain) or vioxx (which evidently increased death)

question 2 comes from jenn – in true jackass fashion, she asks:

If you could remove one finger and be guaranteed to be free of all diseases for the rest of your life - would you?

um….. could I give up two toes instead of a finger??? and it has nothing to do w/ what others would think, or for jewlery usage, but because every once in a while I still pull out a musical instrument and I need all of my fingers… (that, & I am finally a full 10 finger typer)

question 3 comes from sexy scott:

what would i not do for a million dollars?

get a tattoo or eat anything that would be found on a show such as fear factor.... i am jewish and it is against jewish law to get a tattoo but also, i saw my great grandparents tattoo's from the concentration camps - it would JUST BE WRONG for me to get one... as for food, i am willing to try lots of stuff, but i do draw a line at civilized food

barry is full of questions & he asks the following:

what is the hardest choice i ever had to make?

if i eat fries - do i use ketchup, mayonnaise or mustard?

when in that place half-way between being awake and asleep - what do i most often think about?

the hardest choice i ever had to make…… i really don’t know – in reality, most of my life choices aren’t really life altering – maybe standing up for myself and walking away from a job where i loved what i did but not how i felt about myself at the end of each day because of the people i worked FOR

do i use ketchup, mayo or mustard when i eat fries? – VINEGAR is my 1st choice…. but i usually use ketchup as vinegar isn't ususally available… and sometimes i make “fry sauce” by mixing mayo & ketchup but that is usually only in private since it grosses most people out… and btw – who the hell eats fries w/ mustard???

when I am in that place between half awake & half asleep, I think about a couple things

1) do I really have to go to the bathroom or can I sleep a bit longer
2) if I get up to go pee will the dog get up and need to go out too
3) will I have enough time to get more sleep in
4) this would be so much better w/ a hot guy next to me so I could go pee and then wake him up and have my wicked way with him
5) who the fuck is the ass hole calling me at this hour and if they don’t have a REALLY good reason I’m gonna’ KICK THEIR ASS

& last but not least…. the final Q is from Miss Amy…. and she asks:

if i had to have the same dessert each night for one month, what would it be?

wegmans (my “local” grocer) chocolate tiramisu – no, its not made w/ rum… but it IS yummy…. and it comes in its own bowl so clean up is easy… it has just enough chocolate that it isn’t overly chocolaty.. it has just enough lady fingers so it isn’t too cakey, and it has just enough everything else to be a good balance for everyday…

this was actually a lot of fun - so come on guys - give me some tough ones........ CHALLENGE ME!!!

questions galore

2006-11-05T19:36:00.000-05:00

i always find it interesting....

the days i crawl out of my cave and post about my worst emotions, i get MANY more hits than when i post random & positive stuff

so....

instead of me venting... or spouting off (which, trust me - i have PLENTY of stuff to let go)

it is your turn...

i know the next few days are going to be crazy for me due to 2 days of parent/teacher conferences and meetings and doctors appointments...

so instead of me posting, i want you to question me

no question will go unanswered

no topic is off limits (and yes, if you only e-mail me, i WON'T out you in my response)

no limit on the # of questions you each ask

so, ask away - and a prize to the most challenging question