a fellow blogger
(and you know who you are) recently posted regarding the the whole judging a book by its cover and how it relates to women.... you know - how a pretty girl is physically
pretty, but once you get to know her she is dumb as a box of rocks or she is a bitch..., but a not so pretty girl, well, they aren't
that great these days either once you get to know them - i jumped into it w/ him to defend "us" and he proposed
that i blog about it myself:
fine - i will stoop low enough to blog about it here ~ i will also explain WHY i was so heated and rose to the bait to blog about it at the endI base my thoughts today on a number of fronts: my background in psychology, my years as a teacher, and my years being the friend of members of the in crowd but not being cool enough to BE a member OF the in crowd (of course, i always thought it was too much work to actually be an active member)relational aggression
is a controversial concept regarding the downfall of teenage girls - it looks at how teenage girls attack each other and break each other down until there is one "queen bee" with her minions and the rest have stomped each other out..... but there must be something to the concept for there to be as much research about it as there is....
remember the movie heathers
rider? and now mean girls
, shes all that
, and all the other teen angst movies out there
i had the opportunity to work with one of the founders of the opheilia project
when setting up some after school groups at my school and we have seen a drastic decrease in problems with the girls in my school.... but will it last??? and will it cross over to the "real world" once they leave our isolated bubble? truthfully, i doubt it - because the rest of the world is just, well, MEAN...
there have always been the pretty girls, the girls who don't care one way or another, the girls who float on the fringe, the average girls who fit in in their social groups and then the, well - not so pretty girls.
basically, unless your parents are complete
an utter shits you are told you are pretty/cute/beautiful from the moment you are born - even if you are funny looking (or worse)
somewhere along the line though, social status
starts to take hold - it seems to be as much nature as nurture - but it happens.... and unless you have a constitution as strong as iron, your psyche starts to crumble
there are those who rise to the top, who seem impervious to the mean girls, who are sweet to everyone and they are friend to everyone, regardless of group membership
. they tend to be pretty and smart and funny..... there are those who float thru w/o being harassed - they just kind of exist w/o making a blip on anyones radar, for better or worse..... .. then there are the mean girls who are well, just that - MEAN and they walk over, and/or THRU
so take the average (or less than average girl) who has to go thru
of puberty with all the crap that comes with it..... and now add dating and the archaic
rules that no one
can you blame her for putting up a wall when she repeatedly
gets crapped on for being herself? can you blame her for pulling into a shell? for using sarcasm as a form of self protection? you can only put on the act of being happy and sweet for so long before it wears on you and wears you out..
- i am almost 30, yet i am the NOT cover model, i am a girl who at times has a self-confidence issue.... i was, sometimes harasses, but other times defended.... sometimes i cared, sometimes i didn't- it really just depended on who was harassing me..... - i have a job i am good at, friends and family who love and support me, but it still HURTS to be passed over.... so i put up a wall that shows itself as sarcasm as a way to protect myself..... i workout 3 to 4 days a week and eat right, but i got sick and had to take cortisone
which packed 30 pounds on me that won't come off so i look like the fucking stay puff marshmallow
chick..... i have gone on more first dates this past year than i have gone on the rest of my life combined - and only 3 of them i didn't want to go on a 2nd
... and they were the 3 that called back....
i am a great person with a lot to give, but i find that the social scene is just like high school.... the pretty girls get hit on by the hot guys... when the hot guys get drunk and the pretty girls get taken the not so hot guys or the left over hot guys then move on to the 2nd
tier girls... (where for the most part i still fall) but you feel like left overs at that point.... so of course by then, your feet hurt, and you are tired of seeing the pretties
and the skinnies
get 1st dibs.... so forgive me for not being a ray of fucking sunshine every time i am out in public
and drop the double standard - because it is still ok
for guys to act like jerks, to swear, to burp, to act like an ass...
and besides, why must a woman still always act perfect?