why ask why me?

Friday, June 30, 2006

Vacations....

So it is vacation time. My family and friends all live 4 our more hours away. Now, I admit that I am one of the few without children ~ however, a pet can be even worse because you have to leave it in someone ELSE care.

But back to my friends and family. They all think I should enjoy my summer by visiting. Great, wonderful, FAB-U-LOUS!! But WHY am I the only one required to actually do the traveling? Do they not know how BORING it is to be alone in the car that long? Do they think that gas costs less for me than them?

And WHY is it that NONE OF THEM STILL have even made a half hearted attempt to visit me?

I just got my AAA "guide" that says traveling is great.

My question? FOR WHO?

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Thursday, June 29, 2006

SUNSHINE?!?!?

After 10 days of rain I am so confused. WHAT is that yellow ball in the sky?

MUST

FIND

SUNGLASSES

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Scarborough Country

I was brought up in a very small area with fairly small views. I am usually the sore thumb when it comes to politics and religion (being that I am a liberal in a very conservative area and I am quite possibly the only person in town not a member of the catholic church). Hence, I just kind of sit back and listen but bite my tongue.

BUT THIS HAS GONE ON TO LONG! Where is my 12-gauge when I need it?
Ann Coulter needs to have her tongue pulled out of her face and her hands cut off.... "Liberalism is the opposition party to g-d and the democrats are "brain damaged"" my ass.

This from a woman who looks like she was ridden hard and put away wet. Her head is shoved so far up her own cunt that she can't even get herself off.

Liberals "are for adultery, lying about adultery, killing the unborn, and stealing from the middle class... They are full of towering, smug, intolerant, self-righteous rage."

This from a woman who is so bigoted that she cannot accept that other people can have an opinion and that it MIGHT be different from hers? Talk about being smug, intolerant, and full of self-righteous rage!

WHY IS THIS WOMAN ALLOWED TO SPEAK??? She claims to be the voice of her friends and fellow conservatives. How ironic, because most truly conservative men would have her pregnant and barefoot cleaning house - they would NEVER put up with her mouth.

No wonder other countries think that Americans are stupid and that the women are rude.

Move over bitch and let some intelligent, and educated, women speak on topics that actually matter: Education, Equal pay, Tax Reform for the middle class, just to name a few.

Ok, off my soap box and back to my own issues.... later ya'll

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My last, strange, 12 hours....

So, in my ever strange world of dating, I again head out into the social scene. And yes I went with a friend. This one is a tall, blond, with just the right amount of everything, and the "perfect" (except when they fight) boyfriend. Where as I, have a little bit extra of everything.

Now, any girl will tell you that her parents and friends tell you that you are beautiful. And a true friend will also tell you that you look like ass when you do (in addition to when you are being an ass). So friend and I took plenty of time w/ my hair, makeup, & outfit choice.

However, only so much an be done to keep a girls moral and self confidence up when they are still single.

So, we decided to hit this new place that the masses have been raving about for a few weeks. We find a high table, and sit down w/ our drinks. As miss thang has a significant other and she isn't the type to cheat, we are really out for a girls night of catching up. But within minutes drinks start arriving for both of us from all over the place. Finally we asked the waitress for "tuits" (for those who don't know what a tuit is, it is a "chip" (about the size of a poker chip) w/ the establishments name on it that you "collect" until you are ready for a new drink, or when you are ready to get "to it" - great concept.

And then the purchasers of these drinks show up. And the hot one sits w/ her, and they have a great conversation - and the wing man sits down next to me and can barely beat out "me caveman, you cave girl, me buy you drink, we go have animal sex in ally behind building" as I look over at hot guy hitting on friend. And I hear her say "I am off the market, but my beautiful, funny, smart friend is single."

Here is the most frustrating part. I really don't think I am ugly, but as hard as I work out, I still have some extra padding. I think I am funny, I know I am smarter than the average fluff in the place, and I AM single. But obviously hot guy is interested in a her, not me with the extra padding along every inch of my torso.

And then in walks my trainer from the gym - and I am in even bigger trouble. See, he is the only person who has actually tried to bed me lately but I won't give into the stereotype because I NEED him. I need to be able to gaze at him adoringly as he pushes my body "past it's limitations to reach its greatest potential" and sleeping with him is sure to disillusion me. And THEN he sees me with ALL of the empties in front of me.

Tomorrow will be hell. I don't know which is worse: the stare from across the dance floor, the fact that he doesn't come over, or knowing I am going to have a hangover and he won't care.

So this morning I drag ass to the gym and I get on the elliptical and start my warm up. And over he saunders. And STARES at me the ENTIRE FIVE MINUTES. And then grunts GET OFF MACHINE. So I dutifully follow him around the gym to his polysylabic orders.

Finally I sqeek out - "hangover?" and he says "serves you right." Then he actually has the gaul to ask "did you go home with him?" Here I am asking if HE has a hangover and he throws it back in my face.

WHAT THE F___ is going on here?

I just stared and stared and stared. And out of his mouth comes the following: "If you are dumb enough to go out with any of those tools you deserve to be unhappy. What is it that keeps you from taking me seriously?"

Is he SERIOUS??? I can barely THINK over the fuzzy buzz in my head from last night and he is asking me why I won't sleep with him????? And worse, all I can think is "do I need to get a new trainer?"

Finally I sink down to the weight bench. And I just stare up at him. How does a girl who WANTS a boy friend tell her visual fantasy that she NEEDS the fantasy to get by while being single? So what do I say? "Because I need you to get me look like that" (as I point to the perfectly toned abs of the MILF across the room).

He looked at me as if I had a 2nd head growing off of my shoulders and informed me "real men don't want to be with stick figures, they like curves."

Well, if this is true, why then is he the only "real man" I have met?

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Monogamy & Tapeworms

So last night I hung out with one of my friends from work. She has been married for years. But is unhappy. Catholic, 2 kids... blah, blah, blah... But she tells me she is in love with a friend of hers.

I come home from her place to find an e-mail from one of the ex's informing me that at 29 he realizes that he has settled for a marriage with a great woman who he has nothing in common with - except for their new born infant.

And then I read this:

GREAT - so does this mean that I need to give up my search for the right guy? Should I just throw caution to the wind and have a one night stand w/ they guy I have met once who keeps e-mailing me and calling me (now, I do actually like this guy, but he is basically looking for a one night stand and has said so).

BTW, guys... How long will a guy actually peruse a girl for a one night stand? This "dance" has been going on 2 months now. We chat online, e-mail, and talk on the phone all the time - timing has just been wrong to meet up again. We actually have a lot in common - but a lot of differences too.

What's a girl to do?

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Monday, June 26, 2006

Why ask "Why me?"


Well...., my best friend has decided that I am NOT to be the last single member of our group. Evidently she is neglecting the fact that I am the only single FEMALE in the group - and even if I was interested in any of the male members of our little "club" - SHE WOULDN'T LET ME DATE ANY OF THEM!! However, since I know all of them, and their ex's, I wouldn't touch any of them with the proverbial 10 foot pole.

Alas, what is a girl to do? BF decides that "we" -meaning me - are going on the prowl. Now, would this be that bad? No, but we live in a small town where we know everyone and - oh yeah, they all know us too!!

So, she dragged me out last night (YES - SUNDAY) and to the "bar/restaurant/pool hall" we went for overpriced drinks and underwhelming prospects. Which part of "we hate bars" did she forget? Oh, and which part of, once again, WE KNOW ALL OF THESE FREAKS does she also forget?

So finally at midnight she asks - I swear: "Why me?" I thought I was going to smack her.

"Why ask "Why me?" You are the one w/ the phenomenal husband at home, the 2 amazing kids, 2 dogs AND a cat. I am the one going home to curl up with my wonder dog who doesn't even bark, a heating pad, a book, and a possible phone call from an ex who either wants to try to convince me to have phone sex because he has been dumped again or he didn't get any from his "sure thing" or HE wants to whine at me "why me" because he got dumped. And you have the NERVE to ASK WHY ME?????"

I then turned on my heal and walked out. Thankfully I was smart enough to drive myself.

I love my friends. I really do - but when did my lack of a love life become their problem?

And no - she has NOT called me yet.........

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