why ask why me?

Sunday, October 15, 2006

life as i live it

to answer jen's recent question regarding the disenfranchised youth of the world vs. my life as a bloger...

i have NOT been avoiding blogging - i have been struggling with balancing my life in and outside of work...

i am sure you have all heard of the multitude of school shootings.... however, MOST of them you have NOT heard about. being friends w/ members of the school police department has, for better or worse, kept me informed as how bad it has become

approximately three acts of profound school violence has occurred PER DAY since this school year started in mid-august.

thru 6-degree's of separation, two of these incidents have hit fairly close to me - even closer than 9/11 did....

a bloger friend (and i AM sorry i haven't gotten back to you) in the mid-west endured a full day of lock down, only to find out that a Columbine style assault had been planned at her school... even worse - the majority of the students in her one class period were all on the "hit list"

my family lives near lancaster county.... my mom has become friends with an mennonite family and actually spends time on their farm..... they are related somehow to one of the families who had a child in the amish school

since school started this year, i have been continually burred in paperwork - more than EVER before... so much to the point that i feel as though i am unable to give my students what they really need educationally as my time is spent either assessing them, being pulled to a meeting, or giving them "seat work."

i am sure my stress is visible to my students.... and i do worry that one of my students will take something that comes out of my mouth the wrong way

do i truly fear that i will be shot or held hostage?

NO

but do i fear that something could go wrong in my school because we are all stressed out, have minimal security and doors that are not locked, and we work w/ some of the lowest SES kids in the state?

yes

so, on a sunday night, i am still catching up on paperwork at 10:00pm so i can give my kids as much as i can during the day

and tomorrow morning i will start it all over again

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