why ask why me?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

self fulfillment & self fulfilling prophecies

i never had a confidence problem

i always did what i wanted - not what my peers wanted me to do

i never wanted to be with a guy who didn't want me for who i was - and it was easy for me to walk away

i never measured myself against what my friends had or did

i never cared that i didn't quite fit in - because with those who i DID fit in, knew the real me

i always believed the cliche that if you acted happy, you were happy - and i was

i NEVER found or based my self worth in a man
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so why am i sitting here in front of my computer bawling because i like a guy, and i don't think he likes me anymore? even worse - i wonder if he ever did?

why is it that as my 20's are ending, i feel that being single is the worst thing in my life?

why is it that i find it impossible to go to the mall or the local public walking trail or even to wal-mart or a restaurant without getting angry when i see people younger than me with children of their own?

why isn't my life full enough as is????

i have my health, a supportive & loving (if far away) family, a good job that i am good at, and a loving pet too...
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why isn't it enough?
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when and why did my heart and my head decided to betray me??
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and when did i start asking why?

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17 Comments:

  • Even though I want to, I can't answer those questions for you. Only you can. All I can say is time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.

    By Blogger Phil, at Wednesday, September 27, 2006  

  • i can identify
    big time

    By Blogger ry, at Wednesday, September 27, 2006  

  • I hear you loud and clear. I just have no answers.

    Maybe they're at the bottom of this bottle over here.....
    hmmmmmm....

    By Blogger Jackass Jenn, at Wednesday, September 27, 2006  

  • I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but try to focus on what you do have and be grateful for the good things in your life. If you can keep your outlook positive, you'll attract positive things.

    When you focus on what you don't have, you'll find fault in more things and only see the negative.

    Coming to you live from Captain Optimism himself, formerly known as the bitterest man on earth.

    By Blogger Grampa, at Thursday, September 28, 2006  

  • I know this is not what you want to hear either.

    But try to have an open mind when I say it.

    Make a list every single day of things you are thankful for.

    Then go buy a book on Law of Attraction (ask and it is given by ester and jerry hicks is my favorite) and learn how to feel something and by feeling something you attract it.

    The Law of attraction (kinda like what grampa says but i go scientific) is how I live my life and it always works.

    Well it is quantum physics and it works whether you believe it or not.

    Physics wise it simply means like attracts like. So whatever you focus on - whether wanted or unwanted - is what you attract.

    I could take a novel to explain it.

    But you will find someone I promise.

    If you believe you will - then you will.

    P.S - one guy once didn't like me because I had an "attitude". I had a crush on him sooooooooo bad. And I was crushed. So I tried to be all sweetie pie around him. Then it just made me more miserable. Then I met a guy who liked my attitude. :)

    ok im rambling.

    email me if you want to learn about using physics to manifest your desires :)

    By Blogger Rachel Heather, at Thursday, September 28, 2006  

  • And e-mail me if you want to talk.

    :(

    By Blogger Me, at Thursday, September 28, 2006  

  • "and when did i start asking why?"

    You stole my question. So now I'll have to come up with a profound answer. It started when you began basing your happiness on another and measuring the quality of yourself upon your level of success in a relationship.

    Neither is any way to live.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thursday, September 28, 2006  

  • Great question and some really insightful answers. I've got nothin' since it's all been said so eloquently by all of the above.

    I do have a question: why are the word verifications so strange? wxqaigza

    By Blogger Travelin' PT, at Thursday, September 28, 2006  

  • There is also a really cool movie about the Law of Attraction called "The Secret"

    By Blogger Grampa, at Thursday, September 28, 2006  

  • How can I tell you not to ache for the things you long for? How can I tell you upbeat things when some of the things you desire is just out of reach and it breaks your heart?

    Your feelings are perfectly valid and me telling you not to feel them would be presumptuous. I know your ache because I feel it too. And it's ok to feel it. The only thing you can't do is let it interfere with the good things you have already accomplished or with your ability to look for new aspects of life to experience and enjoy.

    Hang in there, chica.

    By Blogger Melissa, at Thursday, September 28, 2006  

  • this is about the time where all these questions start grabbing a hold, tightly. it happened to me when i turned 30 but the 29th yr leading up to it was also not a picnic. all i can say is you have to live through it and you will be strong and no one can make you stop judging yourself but you. you aren't a failure for being single or not being a mother yet. there are lots of pressures to achieve things by a certain age but it's all crap! go easy on yourself and know that your life is unfolding as it should. i know it is hard to have faith but believe in yourself like it seems you always have and you will be better than fine.

    it never gets easier when someone we like doesn't like us back the same way. i wish it did. :(

    By Blogger Sizzle, at Friday, September 29, 2006  

  • Great post... i feel the same way that you do far too often. I try and tell myself that I don't care, but I guess since it keeps coming up then I must.

    I guess we just have to keep going forward right?

    Scott

    By Blogger Scott, at Friday, September 29, 2006  

  • most kids start asking why at 2-3 :P

    By Blogger Barry, at Sunday, October 01, 2006  

  • Its been a while, QG. I know you understand more than anyone else. I hope the year is going ok so far.

    This post resonates. If anything, I am so the opposite and numb to any emotion right now that those feelings are also scary. Hang in there and post soon.

    xoxo

    By Blogger ThursdayNext, at Tuesday, October 03, 2006  

  • its funny how we always think other people are happier than us, or have certain things, that if we had, would make our lives better.

    Sadly, no answers here. Only more questions.

    By Blogger IDigHootchAndCootch, at Thursday, October 05, 2006  

  • Well, I think everyone covered the things you don't want to hear... So I'll take care of the other stuff...
    Everything'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

    By Blogger HarleyWriter, at Tuesday, October 10, 2006  

  • Dear QuestionGirl -

    my own question is why have you foresaken us? Is living your life and helping the disaffected youth of our nation really that much more important than blogging?
    Really?

    We miss you.
    (Speaking for the millions)
    Jackass Jenn

    By Blogger Jackass Jenn, at Friday, October 13, 2006  

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